Laura's Strengthening Marriage Blog

What is the Good Girl Syndrome?

The Good Girl Syndrome is the negative or unproductive thoughts, beliefs, attitudes, behaviors and feelings about sex that inhibit one’s responsiveness and enjoyment of the sexual relationship in marriage.

The Good Girl Syndrome is often manifest as feelings of shame, guilt, embarrassment, or discomfort about sex. Misinformation, distorted information, negative information and a lack of positive education about sex and the body result not only in the previously mentioned emotions, but also in an inhibited sexual response.

This negative conditioning, and the lack of sexual knowledge or promotion of marital sexuality may be the great, underlying and oft-ignored source of sexual dissatisfaction in many marriages.

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In part I of “Affair Proofing Your Marriage” we discussed: being introspective, and developing greater self-awareness; avoiding selfishness; communicating openly in marriage about anything; acknowledging and discussing attractions to others with your spouse; and avoiding secrecy.

In this segment we will continue our discussion of how to affair proof your marriage by addressing an additional seven areas. These include:

1. Working to meet each other’s needs
2. Developing a satisfying sex life in your marriage
3. Dealing with personal insecurities and issues from your past
4. Setting mental boundaries
5. Avoiding personal relationships with others of the opposite sex
6. Building friendships with persons of the same gender
7. Building a personal protective relationship with God Read the rest of this entry »

Today Kevin and Laura celebrate 18 years of marriage, and look forward to the rest of forever…!

Some of the Best Things about Marriage

• Having a best friend
• Learning how to think about and care for someone other than yourself
• Having adorable children (my daughter told me to add the “adorable!”)
• Having someone who motivates and requires that you become your best self
• Being able to enjoy God’s gift of sexual intimacy
• Having someone who always has your back
• Having someone to love who loves you back
• Knowing that marriage and family can last forever…!

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Some time ago the author of the upcoming book Famous Family Nights asked me to write a little bit about Family Home Evenings (FHE) in our home to be featured in a book with other “famous” LDS personalities. (I think she’s stretching the “famous” thing just a bit! : ) Famous Family Nights is now available on our Strengthening Marriage Online Store. I’m sure it will provide many ideas and insights into making family nights even more enjoyable and valuable for the whole family. But most of all I think it will relieve everyone to see that FHE can be a challenge sometimes for anyone! Read the rest of this entry »

News of marital infidelity among politicians, celebrities or anyone, for that matter, is heartrending. Hearts are broken, and lives and careers are destroyed. Everyone involved ultimately suffers.

It’s not just the news that attests to the need for some discussion of this subject. It’s also happening to those around us. No one is immune to the temptations of the adversary. Monogamy in marriage is certainly possible, but effort on our part is needed. Read the rest of this entry »

How long has it been since you wrote your sweetheart a love letter? With recent news of Governor Mark Sanford’s “extramarital emails” I couldn’t help but wonder how his life would be different if he had invested the same time and energy into writing love letters to his wife.

Certainly it can take more effort to feel those romantic feelings toward one’s spouse when many years of marriage have passed, but it is simply a matter of where we put our time, effort and attention that counts, for love is an action. Feelings follow–not lead. Read the rest of this entry »