Laura's Strengthening Marriage Blog

Welcome to our “Open Forum 2” discussion page! This has been the place (up until April 3, 2011) to post your questions and comments, and have an open dialogue about subjects related to marriage, sex, intimacy and parenting.

To create new discussion posts please visit our Open Forum 3 discussion page.

For additional insights, you can review previous discussions by clicking on the links below:

• Open Forum 3 (to post NEW questions and comments)
• Open Forum 2 (posts from Jun 30, 2009 — Apr 3, 2011)
• Open Forum 1 (posts from Aug 14, 2007 – Jun 29, 2009)
• Laura’s Straight Talk Q&A (for other questions and answers from Laura)

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I know from your many personal emails and the conversations we’ve had at various events that there is an army of intelligent and intuitive people who have great insights, and are seeking to strengthen their marriages intimately. I hope you will consider yourself a valuable resource in this forum as you share your questions and comments.

Please continue to be attentive to the tone of your posts, so that we can maintain an atmosphere of reverence and respect for each other and the sanctity of sexuality in marriage. I will try to respond as often as I can, but hope you will step up and share your insights as well.

Thank you all for your participation here! Let’s learn and improve our marriages together! : )

A few months ago I received a press request by a writer for the women’s magazine First to do an interview with someone who had overcome an intimacy challenge. They wanted the story for their “Private Confidence” column. I recommended the couple who had joined me for a TV appearance back in September 2008.

Heidie Lee and her husband Chris not only did a great job on the TV appearances, but apparently did a really great job with this magazine interview, as the writers/editors were able to produce a pretty awesome column. They even came to Heidie and Chris’s home to take pictures of them for the story. A darling photo of Chris and Heidie are included with the article.

How I Took the Taboo Out of Sex

The title of the article is, “How I Took the Taboo Out of Sex–And Transformed my Marriage!” In it Heidie shares her story of overcoming her difficulty in expressing herself inside the bedroom, as well as outside the bedroom. She talks about the role the book, And They Were Not Ashamed–Strengthening Marriage through Sexual Fulfillment played in her ability to overcome her inhibitions and transform her marriage.

Continue reading “National Magazine Profile — “How I Took the Taboo Out of Sex”” »

Myths about marriage often get perpetuated leading many to make unwise decisions based on faulty information. In reviewing the latest research on marriage, I was a bit surprised by some of the findings myself. See for yourself how “with it” you are in knowing the truth about marriage by taking this Marriage Myths Quiz. It’s good to know the facts!

True or False?

1. Married people have more sex.

Continue reading “Myths about Marriage—Take the Marriage Myths Quiz” »

Carrie Prejean, Miss California USA, gave an honest answer to a politically charged pageant question more than three weeks ago, and has been viciously attacked ever since.

I’ve been appalled and disgusted by all who have sought to ruin the life and reputation of one who chose to voice her honest and widely held, yet “politically incorrect” opinion about the nature of marriage. Continue reading “Still Standing Strong for Marriage” »

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Equality means that any man and woman who wants to marry can do so. Any other combinations are going to have to find something else to call it, since “marriage” is already taken. Marriage was defined and created by God. It’s not up for human redefinition.

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Miss California recently got caught up in a heated controversy about marriage when answering an interview question during the Miss USA pageant. I’m not a big fan of beauty pageants, but I’m now a big fan of Carrie Prejean who stood up for marriage!

Continue reading “Taking the Heat for Marriage” »

How would you define a healthy sexual relationship in marriage? While there may be a number of ways, the following represents my definition of a healthy sexual relationship:

1. Mutually Fulfilling. Lovemaking is mutually enjoyable and satisfying for both husband and wife. (This would include regular orgasms for both husband and wife.)
2. Open Communication. Husband and wife communicate openly and honestly about sex–including their needs and preferences. This ability allows them to reconcile the many differences that will inevitably arise in the sexual relationship.
3. Satisfactory Frequency. Both husband and wife feel satisfied with the frequency of lovemaking. (My husband thought I should include that it be at least once a year! : )
4. Emotional Connection Beyond the Bedroom. In order for the intimate relationship to come full circle there must be good emotional connection outside he bedroom as well.

Continue reading “Characteristics of a Healthy Sexual Relationship” »

Male Sexual Socialization

In doing some research, I stumbled onto some fascinating insights about men and their sexual socialization.

With the advent of Viagra-type products, there is an increasingly reductionistic and medicalized focus on the sexual functioning of body parts while ignoring the relational aspects of sexuality.

The trend to medicalize sexuality and reduce problems to body parts feeds into the cultural phenomenon of boys and men being socialized to be disconnected from their emotions, limiting their capacity for intimate communication and connection.

Continue reading “The Centerfold Syndrome” »

What a delightful surprise to find that “Laura’s Strengthening Marriage Blog” was selected as one of the Top 10 Best “Love” Blogs for women by the AllWomenStalk.com website. I was in good company with other blogs from “Understanding Men” to Glamour magazine. Continue reading “Top 10 Women’s Blogs” »

My good friend, Julie de Azevedo Hanks, is holding a monthly “Cultivating Sexual Desire in Marriage” workshop for women. This is a great way for women to learn to embrace sexuality and find greater fulfillment in their marriages. Continue reading ““Cultivating Sexual Desire” — Women’s Workshop” »

Men generally struggle to bridle their passions, but women struggle to awaken them. One of the specific things women struggle with is being able to connect with their sensuality and the physicality of sexual relations. You often hear of women deriding the carnality or physicalness of sex, as if it were a bad thing. It is not.

Continue reading “Massage Therapy to Awaken Sensuality” »