Laura’s Strengthening Marriage Blog

The following writings were sent to me by a man who has spent many years in a sexual desert in his marriage. He has agreed to let me share some of the heart piercing and profound reverie he has had regarding the intimately starved marriage in which he is living. This stuff is the sacred ground of the soul. What an awesome and humbling thing it is to glimpse into the soul of another.

He has graciously consented to let me share these personal writings in hopes that it may bring hope to others who find themselves in similar situations. His hope is that through his pain maybe he can be an instrument for good somehow.

I hope these writings will be received by you in the manner in which they were written. I know his words profoundly affected me. These writings and the many others like it are the reasons I see it as such a high priority to strengthen marriages sexually.

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In recent months I’ve begun to use the phrase “involuntary celibacy” to describe my current sexual status. I keep the phrase (and the truth behind it) mainly to myself (and my journal) with an occasional exception, when I find a listening ear.

It’s really quite tragic. But the term is rather fitting, since I have about as much of a sex life as a typical priest. I like to joke to myself that the difference between me and a priest is that the priest wears a collar. But it’s also that the priest entered his lifestyle willingly. On the contrary, part of the reason I married was because I knew I couldn’t bear to be celibate. What a sick twist of fate. Read the rest of this entry »

A while back a friend came up to me at church and said he had some receipts for me to reimburse. I looked at him like “What are you talking about?” and he said, “You know…babysitting receipts. You said you’d cover the babysitting if I’d start taking my wife out on dates.” I laughed and said “Okay. Sure.” 

A couple of weeks earlier they had been at our home for a get together for a bunch of new couples in our church. In the course of introductions it came up that I was a marriage educator and that I was a big proponent of a weekly date night. Though teasing, that night he had said, “Oh sure. If you pay for the babysitter maybe we’d consider going out on dates more often.” That is when I had said that he could send me the bill for their babysitting expenses.

Apparently he is pretty serious about it as he has also reminded my husband that he’s now racking up babysitting expenses to give me. I guess I need to remind him that a babysitter costs a lot less than a marriage counselor, or a divorce, for that matter. Read the rest of this entry »

The first time I saw this picture I nearly died laughing! Too dang funny! It wouldn’t be so funny if it weren’t so true.

I realize this representation of men and women is overly simplistic, but there are some valuable insights to be gained from this visual characterization.

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Criticism is a poison that sours relationships. When things aren’t going well in a marriage, that tends to be the time we are most likely to throw every complaint we’ve got at our spouse when instead it’s encouragement and a search for what’s good that is more likely to affect positive changes in behavior. It’s funny how we mistakenly think we can berate and belittle our spouses into behaving better.

It seems to be the universal longing out there for the other person to change. “If only they would do this…” “If only they would change that…” “If only they…” the list goes on!
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“And They Were Not Ashamed” Softcover Book only $12! (reg $17.95)

We’ve put together an incredible special offer because we’re serious about strengthening marriages intimately! For a limited time, the softcover book “And They Were Not Ashamed — Strengthening Marriage through Sexual Fulfillment” will be just $12. Yes, you read that right…$12. (Regular price is $17.95.) Read the rest of this entry »

My husband and I had a hilariously fun time at a Glenn Beck show when he was in town a while back. That guy cracks me up! Glenn Beck has a TV show on CNN and a talk radio show as well. His show was a mix of comedy, hilarity and politics. It was great!

His marriage-related tirades were side-splitting. One of his marital rants involved “bonnet movies,” and I knew exactly where he was going to go with this. I’ve heard it too many times before.

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