Laura's Strengthening Marriage Blog » Marital Intimacy Show

Developing a Sexual Identity

Laura M. Brotherson — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 06:30:49 +0000

This post is in connection with episode #030 “I Am a Sexual Being, and It’s Good” of The Marital Intimacy Show. For your convenience, the questions from that episode are posted here.

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I’ve recently come across some interesting research about women and the sexual issues they face, and what some of the best approaches are for helping women with these issues. It really boils down to women developing a sexual identity, or having that foundation for their intimate relationship in marriage.

Sexual Identity

What is a sexual identity? Basically it means that you see yourself as a sexual being, and embrace that as a good thing. And I’d even take it a step further to say that part of a healthy sexual identity is understanding the fact that your sexuality is of God.

Questions for Developing Your Sexual Identity

What I’d like to share here are some of the questions provided in the research, so that you can begin to explore these issues on your own. I’d suggest you get a notebook and begin to do some writing–investigating these questions.

Here are 15 questions to ponder, and do some writing about:

What do I think about sex? What does sex mean to me? What does sex mean to God?
What do I think about my body…all parts of it?
How did I learn about sex? What was I taught?
What do I want from sex? What do I want it to accomplish?
What kinds of things give me pleasure, even if not sexual?
Which of my senses give me pleasure? Touch? Taste? Sight? etc.
What am I passionate about, even if it’s not sexual? (Have a conversation with yourself about passion itself.) …Where are your passions? What do they say about you?
If your passions are non-sexual, what does that mean for you?
Have I ever been passionate about sex?
What was different then? What was different about me then?
Where did my passionate self go?
What things might I need to grieve over regarding passion in my life? Sexual or otherwise? (A lot of women have experienced some pain and heartache about sexual things…Those issues must be addressed and healed–usually with the help of a therapist.)
What keeps me from wanting and/or enjoying pleasure now?
What would it mean and what would it look like if I took responsibility for reconnecting my passion to my sexuality?
What would it mean to my husband if I embraced my sexuality? What would it mean to my children?

References:

Foley, S. (2003). Women in sex therapy: Developing a sexual identity. Contemporary Sexuality, 37(9), 7-13.

Related Resources:

PODCAST — Episode #030 “I Am a Sexual Being…” on “The Marital Intimacy Show“
ARTICLE — “Embracing Sexuality“

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Marriage and intimacy expert, Laura M. Brotherson, is the author of a bestselling book on sexual intimacy and marital oneness entitled, And They Were Not Ashamed—Strengthening Marriage through Sexual Fulfillment.

Laura shares her passion for building strong marriages and families as an author, intimacy expert, marriage and family therapist, and host of “The Marital Intimacy Show” on The Women’s Information Network (The WIN).

Visit her website StrengtheningMarriage.com to learn more and to sign up for her “Straight Talk about Strengthening Marriage” newsletter.

StrengtheningMarriage.com is your trusted resource for education, products and services to strengthen marriages . . . intimately!

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Other Ways to Connect with Laura!

Questions for “Let’s Play 20 Questions”

Laura M. Brotherson — Tue, 07 Sep 2010 23:31:48 +0000

Here are the questions from “The Marital Intimacy Show” episode #043 “Let’s Play 20 Questions.”

To help make it easier for you and your spouse to talk about your sexual relationship I encourage you to play this little game called “20 Questions–Your Conversation Starter about Sex.”

You can make this a date night activity or something to discuss as you go for a walk. You could also choose a night for some pillow talk (with no expectation that it will lead to anything…!) and then ask each other the following questions. You may want to take turns who answers each question first. Here we go!

What are three of your favorite things about lovemaking?
What three things did you previously think I liked most about lovemaking?
How often do you think most couples have sex?
What do you remember about our first kiss?
On a scale of 1-10 (1 = a little, 10 = a lot) how much do you enjoy kissing in general? What could make it better?
What is one of your favorite memories of us being intimate?
What are three things that happen outside “the bedroom” that make you most interested in being intimate?
What are three things that happen outside “the bedroom” that make you least interested in being intimate?
When we engage in non-sexual touch or affection (i.e. hold hands, hug, sit close, etc.) what does that usually communicate to you?
On a scale of 1-10 (1 = a little, 10 = a lot) how important is non-sexual touch and affection to you in our relationship?
Where do you most like being touched during lovemaking?
What does sex mean to you?
What is something you’ve thought might be fun to try sometime?
What misconceptions did you have about sex before we got married?
What is one thing you wish we would have done differently on our honeymoon?
How much do you think our honeymoon experiences affect the sexual relationship we have today?
Tell me what your ideal intimate encounter with me would be like?
What do you most think about or worry about when we are being intimate?
What do you most like me to say to you during lovemaking?
On a scale of 1-10 (1 = a little, 10 = a lot) how comfortable was it for us to have this conversation?

I hope this “20 Questions” activity will be a fun ice breaker for you and your spouse especially if you’ve had a hard time talking about your sexual relationship. It might even just provide you some new information to make your intimate relationship even better!

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For more tips to strengthen your marriage connect with us on Facebook:

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FACEBOOK PAGE

The Marital Intimacy Show

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Facebook — Let’s Connect!

Strengthening Marriage, Inc. — Become a fan!

“The Marital Intimacy Show” — Become a fan!

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Subscribe to The Marital Intimacy Show

Receive Email Updates for Each Episode

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Marriage and intimacy expert Laura M. Brotherson is the author of a bestselling book on sexual intimacy and marital oneness entitled, And They Were Not Ashamed—Strengthening Marriage through Sexual Fulfillment. Laura shares her passion for building strong marriages and families as an author, intimacy expert, relationship consultant, and host of the online “Marital Intimacy Show.”

Visit her website www.StrengtheningMarriage.com to learn more and to sign up for her “Straight Talk about Strengthening Marriage” newsletter. StrengtheningMarriage.com is your trusted resource for education, products and services to strengthen marriages . . . intimately!

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Don’t Miss “The Marital Intimacy Show”

Laura M. Brotherson — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 18:57:36 +0000

How many episodes of “The Marital Intimacy Show” have you heard? In case you haven’t heard them all yet — here’s the latest list of what you’ve been missing! You just won’t find this stuff anywhere else! Check it out today and subscribe for email alerts so you won’t miss a single episode!

#019 Overcoming Obstacles of the Big “O” — Part 1

#018 Stories of Hope — Finding Fulfillment

#017 Desire is a Decision

#016 What Sex Means to a Man

#015 Making Passion a Priority

#014 Auditory Arousal

#013 Awakening Sensuality

#012 Three Keys to Help You Thrive in Your Marriage

#011 Tiger Woods, Marriage and Infidelity

#010 Secrets of Sexually Satisfied Wives -Part 2

#009 Secrets of Sexually Satisfied Wives -Part 1

#008 Affair Proofing Your Marriage, Part 4 — Vulnerability and Opportunity

#007 Affair Proofing Your Marriage, Part 3 — Dealing with Your Issues

#006 Affair Proofing Your Marriage, Part 2 — Specific Steps

#005 Affair Proofing Your Marriage, Part 1 — What’s Not Enough

#004 Jumpstarting Your Marriage–Part 2

#003 Jumpstarting Your Marriage–Part 1

#002 Six Tips to Strengthen Your Marriage Sexually–Part 2

#001 Six Tips to Strengthen Your Marriage Sexually–Part 1

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Facebook — Let’s Connect!

Strengthening Marriage, Inc. — Become a fan!

“The Marital Intimacy Show” — Become a fan!

Subscribe to Laura’s Strengthening Marriage Blog

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Subscribe to The Marital Intimacy Show

Receive Email Updates for Each Episode

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Laura M. Brotherson is the author of a groundbreaking book on sexual intimacy and marital oneness entitled, And They Were Not Ashamed—Strengthening Marriage through Sexual Fulfillment. Laura shares her passion for building strong marriages and families as an author, intimacy expert, online show host, and relationship consultant.

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The Women’s Information Network (The WIN) — Giveaways!

Laura M. Brotherson — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 23:19:47 +0000

Most of you are probably already familiar with The Women’s Information Network (The WIN), the company that produces my new online show “The Marital Intimacy Show.”

“The WIN” will be giving away great gifts to ALL website visitors during their Online Launch “12 Days of Giveaways” — December 1st – 12th, so get yourself to the home page after clicking here to stop by and watch the LIVE show from 8 a.m. – 8 p.m. Dec. 1st!

The WIN is an incredible new online resource for women (and men) worldwide. It is a community of women helping women — and has a mission to “Strengthen Women and Families Worldwide.”

On their website you’ll find hundreds of audio and video shows in addition to mine, presented by experts on a wide variety of topics, as well as quality articles, great social networking, and an online TV show (The WIN Show). (Click here to view my appearance on The WIN Show.)

The fun new “WIN Store” is also great place for people to shop, and even sell their products to the world.

Online Launch — 12-hour GIVE-A-THON

It gets better! The WIN has scheduled their Online Launch for Tuesday, Dec. 1st, 2009 with a live, 12-hour, in-studio GIVE-A-THON where ALL website visitors will receive great gifts. It’ll be 12 days of GIVEAWAYS!

Hundreds of fabulous gifts (cruises, make-overs, trips, books, etc.) will be given away Dec. 1st through the 12th, by the “Women of The WIN.” (You might even get a free copy of my book And They Were Not Ashamed–Strengthening Marriage through Sexual Fulfillment.)

I encourage you to visit The WIN’s website, and click on the button “Sign In” or “Join Our Community” (it’s free!), so that you can enjoy all the many opportunities and benefits The WIN has to offer — especially during the Dec. 1st – 12th Online Launch.

I believe The Women’s Information Network (The WIN) is positioned to be the Premier Media and Social Network for Women. I thoroughly support their mission “To Strengthen Women and Families Worldwide.”

Join me at The WIN!

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Facebook — Let’s Connect!

Strengthening Marriage, Inc. — Become a fan!

“The Marital Intimacy Show” — Become a fan!

Subscribe to Laura’s Strengthening Marriage Blog

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Find Us on Facebook!

Laura M. Brotherson — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 19:32:21 +0000

?????We have two new Facebook Pages to make it even easier for you to learn how to strengthen your marriage intimately! Become a fan of Strengthening Marriage, Inc. and “The Marital Intimacy Show.”

You’ll receive regular updates on new episodes of “The Marital Intimacy Show” as well as information and insights into how you can strengthen your marriage, and create a more passionate and intimately connected relationship — emotionally, spiritually and sexually!

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Facebook — Let’s Connect!

Strengthening Marriage, Inc. — Become a fan!

“The Marital Intimacy Show” — Become a fan!

Subscribe to Laura’s Strengthening Marriage Blog

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Subscribe to The Marital Intimacy Show

Receive Email Updates for Each Episode

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Listen to “The Marital Intimacy Show”

Laura M. Brotherson — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 18:26:58 +0000

Things are rolling along with our new online audio program “The Marital Intimacy Show” part of the fabulous Women’s Information Network (The WIN). Check out our current shows and watch for many more exciting shows to come. We’ll be discussing:

Steps to Strengthen Your Marriage Sexually
Affair Proofing Your Marriage
Overcoming Obstacles of the “Big O”
Jumpstarting Your Marriage
Secrets of Sexually Satisfied Wives
Divorce Proofing Your Marriage

…and much more!

Become a fan of “The Marital Intimacy Show” Facebook page to stay current on the latest happenings with “The Marital Intimacy Show.” You’ll get regular updates about the latest episodes as well as helpful tips to make your marriage great.

This is must hear stuff for all those who want to have an intimately connected and passionate relationship — emotionally, spiritually and sexually!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Facebook — Let’s Connect!

Strengthening Marriage, Inc. — Become a fan!

“The Marital Intimacy Show” — Become a fan!

Subscribe to Laura’s Strengthening Marriage Blog

Subscribe to Blog Entries

Subscribe to Blog Comments

Subscribe to The Marital Intimacy Show

Receive Email Updates for Each Episode

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