Hey guys! How are you doing in the romance department? Wives love for you to continue to win and woo them! : )

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For more tips to strengthen your marriage join us on Facebook!

FACEBOOK PAGE Strengthening Marriage, Inc.

FACEBOOK PAGE The Marital Intimacy Show

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Subscribe to Laura’s Strengthening Marriage Blog

      Subscribe to Blog Entries

Subscribe to Blog Comments

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      Receive Email Updates for Each Episode

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Marriage and intimacy expert, Laura M. Brotherson, is the author of a bestselling book on sexual intimacy and marital oneness entitled, And They Were Not Ashamed—Strengthening Marriage through Sexual Fulfillment.

Laura shares her passion for building strong marriages and families as an author, intimacy expert, marriage and family therapist, and host of “The Marital Intimacy Show” on The Women’s Information Network (The WIN).

Visit her website StrengtheningMarriage.com to learn more and to sign up for her “Straight Talk about Strengthening Marriage” newsletter.

StrengtheningMarriage.com is your trusted resource for education, products and services to strengthen marriages . . . intimately!

© Copyright 2012 Laura M. Brotherson. All rights reserved.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Other Ways to Connect with Laura!

]]> http://strengtheningmarriage.com/blog/marriage/monday-marriage-funnies-flowers-and-romance/feed 0 http://strengtheningmarriage.com/blog/marriage/mothers-day-gifts?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=mothers-day-gifts http://strengtheningmarriage.com/blog/marriage/mothers-day-gifts#comments Thu, 10 May 2012 01:08:44 +0000 Laura M. Brotherson http://strengtheningmarriage.com/blog/?p=1865 With Mother’s Day just around the corner, it’s time to start making those gift purchases for the special Moms in your life. Finding the perfect present for these ladies can be a challenge; here are a few tips to help ease the stress of coming up with something a little more lasting than breakfast in [...]]]>

With Mother’s Day just around the corner, it’s time to start making those gift purchases for the special Moms in your life. Finding the perfect present for these ladies can be a challenge; here are a few tips to help ease the stress of coming up with something a little more lasting than breakfast in bed.

1. Gift Baskets – While there are certainly a staggering array of pre-made gift basket options, putting one together yourself is both surprisingly easy and the best way of ensuring that each and every item is handpicked for the guest of honor.
2. Personalized Gifts – It’s possible to personalize almost any gift you can come up with; adding a birthstone, a monogram or any other signifying features is one of the best ways to give your selected item a personal touch.
3. Jewelry – There are entire lines of jewelry, all with varying price points, designed for the Mother’s Day gift-buying set. From necklaces with charms to symbolize each of her children to bracelets with each child’s birthstone, there’s definitely no shortage of precious adornments created with Mom in mind.
4. Flowers – Though it might be so common that it’s almost a cliché, flowers are the perfect gift for a friend or relative with children. While you might want to step it up a bit for your own mom or the mother of your children, they’re a time-honored tradition for moms that aren’t immediate family.
5. Day Spa or Salon Gift Certificates – The frantic pace of today’s world makes it difficult for women to fit a day of pampering and preening into her schedule. A gift certificate for just such a thing makes a spa day seem like less of an indulgence and more of a treasured gift.
6. Gifts Tailored to Her Specific Interests – Everyone is different, and harried moms are no exception. Taking your special lady’s interests and hobbies into account when selecting your gift is a good way to go the extra mile and provide her with something that she’ll actually use and appreciate.
7. Family Tree Artwork – Artwork that incorporates genealogical information can range from minimalist and sparse to very ornate, so there’s a style to suit any décor. Moms are sure to love a family tree painting or print, and there are several retailers, both online and brick-and-mortar, that specialize in them.
8. Luxury Items – “Luxury” items don’t have to be big-ticket purchases; they’re simply things that Mom might want but would never get for herself. For families that have been forced into serious belt-tightening by the economic climate of the last few years, a luxury item can be something as simple as a more-extravagant-than-usual dinner or a bottle of her favorite perfume.
9. Handmade Gifts – Moms of small children are sure to be moved to tears by a gift they helped to make, so giving little ones a hand in creating her gift can be a big hit. However, handmade gifts aren’t restricted to the smaller set; crafty or artistic grownups can get in on the fun, too!
10. A Day Off – Though it might seem simple, often the best gift that a mother can receive is to spend her special day alone, pursuing her own interests with no responsibilities. Sending her along the way with reassurances that the kids and household will be well looked after in her absence will give her a break that is likely to be much-needed.

Just as there’s no one-size-fits-all Mom, there are no one-size-fits-all gifts. Take the interests and tastes of the Mom in your life into account when choosing her gift, rather than falling back on the old standards. Even a small amount of effort will go a long way!

Reprinted from Ken at NannyPro.com

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For more tips to strengthen your marriage join us on Facebook!

FACEBOOK PAGE Strengthening Marriage, Inc.

FACEBOOK PAGE The Marital Intimacy Show

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Subscribe to Laura’s Strengthening Marriage Blog
     Subscribe to Blog Entries
     Subscribe to Blog Comments

Subscribe to The Marital Intimacy Show
     Receive Email Updates for Each Episode

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Marriage and intimacy expert, Laura M. Brotherson, is the author of a bestselling book on sexual intimacy and marital oneness entitled, And They Were Not Ashamed—Strengthening Marriage through Sexual Fulfillment.

Laura shares her passion for building strong marriages and families as an author, intimacy expert, marriage and family therapist, and host of “The Marital Intimacy Show” on The Women’s Information Network (The WIN). 

Visit her website StrengtheningMarriage.com to learn more and to sign up for her “Straight Talk about Strengthening Marriage” newsletter.

StrengtheningMarriage.com is your trusted resource for education, products and services to strengthen marriages . . . intimately!

© Copyright 2012 Laura M. Brotherson. All rights reserved.

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Other Ways to Connect with Laura!

Pretty sad! Good, strong marriages require time…and effort!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

For more tips to strengthen your marriage join us on Facebook!

FACEBOOK PAGE Strengthening Marriage, Inc.

FACEBOOK PAGE The Marital Intimacy Show

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Subscribe to Laura’s Strengthening Marriage Blog
     Subscribe to Blog Entries
     Subscribe to Blog Comments

Subscribe to The Marital Intimacy Show
     Receive Email Updates for Each Episode

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Marriage and intimacy expert, Laura M. Brotherson, is the author of a bestselling book on sexual intimacy and marital oneness entitled, And They Were Not Ashamed—Strengthening Marriage through Sexual Fulfillment.

Laura shares her passion for building strong marriages and families as an author, intimacy expert, marriage and family therapist, and host of “The Marital Intimacy Show” on The Women’s Information Network (The WIN). 

Visit her website StrengtheningMarriage.com to learn more and to sign up for her “Straight Talk about Strengthening Marriage” newsletter.

StrengtheningMarriage.com is your trusted resource for education, products and services to strengthen marriages . . . intimately!

© Copyright 2012 Laura M. Brotherson. All rights reserved.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Other Ways to Connect with Laura!

Mother’s Day is just around the corner! — Sunday May 13th

Few things are more enticing than chocolate—especially as a gift for your wife on Mother’s Day. But the sweetness fades and the residual calories often remain. Give your sweetheart something different this year. What’s better than chocolate you ask? How about something from the heart.

Chocolate Substitute

A friend recently asked me to write “a prescription” for her husband to provide more of a certain loving behavior to help her stop eating chocolate so much. I promptly wrote out the prescription on a napkin and handed it to her with a smile. The husband later told me he was happy to oblige. I started calling him her chocolate substitute!

Heart Gifts

If we are honest with ourselves we can probably all think of something that we know our spouse would love to receive. We may need to sit and ponder for a moment, but I imagine there’s something you know you can do to strengthen the emotional connection with your spouse. These from-the-heart gifts may require you to stretch a bit, but that’s what real love is all about.

To give a gift from the heart—one that’s better than chocolate—requires thinking outside of the box. This is no one-size-fits-all Mother’s Day gift. What can you do to be your spouse’s chocolate substitute? Maybe your gift would be:

• Holding her hand more often
• Getting the babysitter for Date Night
• Tackling the garage that she’s been longing for you to de-clutter
• Helping her do things that allow her to have more time and energy for intimate time together
• Writing a heart-felt letter of adoration and appreciation
• Kissing her each time she/you get home from work
• Sharing a dream you have for the future
• Fixing the sink that’s been broken for weeks
• Packing a lunch for her to take to work
• Responding to her on a heated topic with patience and a desire to see her perspective instead of resorting to anger or the silent treatment
• Saying the words, “I love you,” even if it’s hard for you!

Gifts that Stretch Us

Sometimes the best gifts from the heart are those that may be a little bit difficult for us to give. The sacrifice or stretching the gift requires makes the gift that much more meaningful. And don’t forget to include a written or verbal note to express your love along with your chosen gift, just so no connection is lost between the two! : )

Make a Top 10 List

I’d love to see couples sit down together and create a list of the top ten things that make them feel loved, so that each of them know the specific keys to each other’s hearts. Why not make it as easy as possible for each other to be successful at love.

I remember one woman asked her husband to tell her some things she could do to be a more loving wife. After he did so, she confessed that she had never known the importance of some of the things he suggested. She wished she had asked him that question many years earlier in their marriage.

You can become an expert at loving your spouse in the way they need to be loved. What a wonderful gift to be the chocolate substitute in your sweetheart’s life.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

For more tips to strengthen your marriage join us on Facebook!

FACEBOOK PAGE Strengthening Marriage, Inc.

FACEBOOK PAGE The Marital Intimacy Show

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Subscribe to Laura’s Strengthening Marriage Blog
     Subscribe to Blog Entries
     Subscribe to Blog Comments

Subscribe to The Marital Intimacy Show
     Receive Email Updates for Each Episode

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Marriage and intimacy expert, Laura M. Brotherson, is the author of a bestselling book on sexual intimacy and marital oneness entitled, And They Were Not Ashamed—Strengthening Marriage through Sexual Fulfillment.

Laura shares her passion for building strong marriages and families as an author, intimacy expert, marriage and family therapist, and host of “The Marital Intimacy Show” on The Women’s Information Network (The WIN). 

Visit her website StrengtheningMarriage.com to learn more and to sign up for her “Straight Talk about Strengthening Marriage” newsletter.

StrengtheningMarriage.com is your trusted resource for education, products and services to strengthen marriages . . . intimately!

© Copyright 2012 Laura M. Brotherson. All rights reserved.

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Other Ways to Connect with Laura!

I think all moms are Supermoms!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

For more tips to strengthen your marriage join us on Facebook!

FACEBOOK PAGE Strengthening Marriage, Inc.

FACEBOOK PAGE The Marital Intimacy Show

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Subscribe to Laura’s Strengthening Marriage Blog
     Subscribe to Blog Entries
     Subscribe to Blog Comments

Subscribe to The Marital Intimacy Show
     Receive Email Updates for Each Episode

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Marriage and intimacy expert, Laura M. Brotherson, is the author of a bestselling book on sexual intimacy and marital oneness entitled, And They Were Not Ashamed—Strengthening Marriage through Sexual Fulfillment.

Laura shares her passion for building strong marriages and families as an author, intimacy expert, marriage and family therapist, and host of “The Marital Intimacy Show” on The Women’s Information Network (The WIN). 

Visit her website StrengtheningMarriage.com to learn more and to sign up for her “Straight Talk about Strengthening Marriage” newsletter.

StrengtheningMarriage.com is your trusted resource for education, products and services to strengthen marriages . . . intimately!

© Copyright 2012 Laura M. Brotherson. All rights reserved.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Other Ways to Connect with Laura!

It can be complicated to try to figure out all the right ingredients for a woman to experience an orgasm. Many women have tried almost everything they can imagine. Maybe they are missing one necessary ingredient…

Because every woman and every relationship is so different I thought I’d start compiling a running list here of things couples might try to bring about orgasm. Most of these suggestions are things that have specifically helped couples I’ve counseled.

So, gook luck in your sexual adventures, and let us know what suggestions have been most helpful. We’d love to have readers share their secret sexual ingredients as well if they are willing! ; )

Orgasm Helps and Hints

1. Remember for women sex is a decision, so make the decision to go there!
2. Read And They Were Not Ashamed and do the homework at the end of each chapter to clear out as many inhibiting issues as you can on your own and/or with your spouse.
3. Initiate sex instead of being the more passive recipient of his sexual advances.
4. Take the lead sexually. A woman ultimately needs to be in charge of her orgasm to be sure she is getting what she needs. Husbands do play a big role not only in providing the physical/sexual stimulation that a woman needs, but also they are a key to the mental and emotional foreplay that she needs.
5. Be sure you and your husband have specifically read chapters 3, 4 and 5 of my book And They Were Not Ashamed so that you both understand the intricacies of a woman’s sexual wiring and the differences between a husband and a wife’s sexual wiring.  
6. Utilize lingerie to get in the mood, to feel sexy, and to make a conscious decision to go there, ‘cuz for women sex is a decision! Put it on even a while before lovemaking to help you mentally prepare.
7. Utilize some mood music or bedroom music to help get in the mood, stay focused on romantic emotions and help keep out mental distractions.
8. Utilize scented candles to lower the lights to help with body image worries and to add a pleasurable aromatic addition to the experience. It can make the whole experience more romantic and help her go from “mommy” mode to wife and lover mode.
9. Use Lelo Balls as kegel muscle exercisers to strengthen the vaginal and pelvic floor muscles (PC muscles) and learn what orgasm feels like (the contractions).
10. Do kegel exercises/contractions during lovemaking/intercourse to increase pleasure and to lead your body to the involuntary PC muscle contractions that occur during orgasm.
11. Keep a sex journal to identify what helps you with arousal and what hinders arousal.
12. Have more buildup, more foreplay in your lovemaking. Don’t overlook the necessity of foreplay to get a woman ready for orgasm. Review chapter 3 of And They Were Not Ashamed to understand the Warm-up/Preparation phase women may need in order to be able to go all the way!
13. Do the “positive flooding” exercise on pg 53 of my book (And They Were Not Ashamed) to help with mental and emotional connection and arousal. It’s great emotional foreplay!
14. Increase your verbalizations during lovemaking, which can significantly increase sexual arousal especially for women because of the mental foreplay/arousal it provides. Utilize auditory arousal (pg 133, And They Were Not Ashamed) to help with getting her mind focused and helping to shut out mental distractions. This could simply be verbal expressions of pleasure on either or both of your parts.
15. Create role play scenarios to play out mentally and verbally during lovemaking to help keep her mind occupied (Auditory Arousal).
16. Make your orgasmic efforts a fun and playful journey–no pressure! Don’t get too serious about it. Let it happen as you are barely paying attention to it. Just play around together. It’s tough to do when you’re frustrated about not experiencing orgasm, but orgasm occurs best in a relaxed environment of enjoyment and playfulness than with too much focused concentration on a specific outcome. Let go of the outcome, that whatever happens it will be good!
17. Be sure you are getting enough clitoral stimulation. Play around with the clitoris to identify just what’s pleasurable instead of to “have an orgasm.” Figure out what feels good to you there? What kind of movement? How much pressure? etc.
18. Try using a vibrator to help your body more easily experience the necessary clitoral stimulation and sexual arousal. Would an orgasm with a vibrator used together in lovemaking be better than no orgasm at all? See also my Straight Talk Q&A about vibrator use.
19. Be sure you have enough lubrication for pleasurable sensations.
20. Keywords for your lovemaking journey to orgasm should be: playful, teasing, exploring, adventurous
21. Try the Sensate Focus exercises (pg 242, And They Were Not Ashamed) and keep a sex journal about what you learn regarding what turns you on and what turns you off.
22. Consider decreasing your SSRI/depression medication and increase SAM-e supplement to decrease the negative sexual side effects (inhibited orgasm).
23. Do some free writing/process writing or have a conversation with your spouse about the meaning of orgasm?
24. Do some free writing/process writing or have a conversation with your spouse to explore the concept of sexual surrender/ letting go sexually or any related fears of losing control during lovemaking.
25. Engage in more emotional connection. Be sure you’re having regular date nights, couple time and/or pillow talk. Check out these Date Night articles and such!
26. Read other books that provide specific erotic activities that you could try. One wife found some great little techniques in John Gray’s Mars and Venus in the Bedroom for her and her husband to try that allowed her to get turned on enough to experience orgasm. This only came after a lot of work on relationship issues and emotional connection, so don’t start with sexual “techniques” if the relational/emotional foundation isn’t already good.
27. Learn to better focus your thoughts and pay attention to the pleasurable sexual sensations during lovemaking. Good sex is a mental discipline.
28. Repeat favorite love songs in your head to help with the mental discipline.
29. Be okay with surrender. Adopt a “take me” attitude! ; )
30. Be sure you have enough time to not worry or be rushed.
31. Increase body acceptance. Address body image issues. Listen to the body image podcasts (#033 – #037) and do the heart circle exercise repeating “I deeply and completely love and accept my body just the way it is!”
32. Develop and nourish your identity as a sexual being. “I am a sexual being, and it’s good!” Listen to the podcast #030 on developing a sexual identity.
33. Be sure your husband is able to contain himself as you get more and more aroused, so he doesn’t get too excited or make a big deal about your progress, or it can stop your sexual progress and make you feel self-conscious.
34. If you haven’t been able to figure it out yet, then be sure to employ the assistance of a marriage counselor/sex therapist (or check my Marital Intimacy Therapist Registry) to help dig into the specifics of things you may have missed or overlooked.
35. Keep the faith but let go of the need for orgasm and just enjoy your husband and the pleasurable experiences you share. Letting go of it is often requisite for it to show up!

Related Resources:

• Listen t0 my Marital Intimacy Show podcast “Overcoming Obstacles of the Big ‘O’” — Part 1 – 3 (episodes #019 – #021)

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For more tips to strengthen your marriage join us on Facebook!

FACEBOOK PAGE  Strengthening Marriage, Inc.

FACEBOOK PAGE  The Marital Intimacy Show

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Subscribe to Laura’s Strengthening Marriage Blog
Subscribe to Blog Entries
Subscribe to Blog Comments

Subscribe to The Marital Intimacy Show
Receive Email Updates for Each Episode

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Marriage and intimacy expert, Laura M. Brotherson, is the author of a bestselling book on sexual intimacy and marital oneness entitled, And They Were Not Ashamed—Strengthening Marriage through Sexual Fulfillment.

Laura shares her passion for building strong marriages and families as an author, intimacy expert, marriage and family therapist, and host of “The Marital Intimacy Show” on The Women’s Information Network (The WIN).

Visit her website StrengtheningMarriage.com to learn more and to sign up for her “Straight Talk about Strengthening Marriage” newsletter.

StrengtheningMarriage.com is your trusted resource for education, products and services to strengthen marriages . . . intimately!

© Copyright 2012 Laura M. Brotherson. All rights reserved.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Other Ways to Connect with Laura!

Good Girls Don’t

One of the trends I continue to see in my work with couples is that there is still an ingrained belief and something of a cultural norm that says, “Good girls don’t.”

The idea is that good girls shouldn’t think about sex. Or that good girls don’t do sex, which prior to marriage is true. But the problem occurs when that gets carried over into marriage.

The lie is that good girls don’t read or learn about sex, nor do they ever fully embrace or develop their sexuality even within marriage. Many men struggle with similar beliefs wreaking havoc in their lives as well. Good girls are certainly not supposed to enjoy sex either.

Sex isn’t Satan’s Domain

Satan has made sex his realm. He’s usurped the whole thing as if sex has nothing to do with God and goodness at all. His counterfeit message is one of sex anytime, anywhere, with anyone. He’s even used the strength of good people against them to keep them far away from the subject altogether. He’s made it such taboo territory that few are willing to even attempt to restore its divine light.

In our efforts to teach youth that sexual activity is reserved for marriage–that good girls don’t…before marriage–we forget to mention that after marriage good girls do! That mental transition never fully occurs with many couples (wives and husbands included!).

Embracing God-given Sexuality

In order to help couples truly embrace their God-given sexuality as God designed it to be, there must be a restoration of goodness and wholesomeness attached to sex itself. Sexual intimacy is one of God’s great gifts to a husband and wife. Why would He not want us to fully receive and enjoy this gift!

I don’t imagine God’s too happy with Satan destroying something so precious, or having all the airtime about the subject.

Part of the effort to take sex out of the darkness–out of Satan’s territory–and restore it to God’s light is for each of us to do our part in overcoming those negative beliefs we personally hold. Then we need to do what we can to promote sex as a positive and wholesome activity within marriage. I like to refer to it as a “wholesome recreational activity!” : )

Put in a Good Word for Sex

I have been so thrilled to see that many have begun to speak out in defense of sex as a good thing–whether with their friends, their children or in their churches or communities. Just setting an example of confidently, openly and appropriately addressing the subject can go a long way towards changing the energy surrounding the subject.

I encourage us all to watch for opportunities to put in a good word for sex. Sex needs a new public relations team to restore its divine light and luster. We all need to help remind each other that in marriage good girls (and guys) do!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

For more tips to strengthen your marriage join us on Facebook!

FACEBOOK PAGE Strengthening Marriage, Inc.

FACEBOOK PAGE The Marital Intimacy Show

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Subscribe to Laura’s Strengthening Marriage Blog
     Subscribe to Blog Entries
     Subscribe to Blog Comments

Subscribe to The Marital Intimacy Show
     Receive Email Updates for Each Episode

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Marriage and intimacy expert, Laura M. Brotherson, is the author of a bestselling book on sexual intimacy and marital oneness entitled, And They Were Not Ashamed—Strengthening Marriage through Sexual Fulfillment.

Laura shares her passion for building strong marriages and families as an author, intimacy expert, marriage and family therapist, and host of “The Marital Intimacy Show” on The Women’s Information Network (The WIN). 

Visit her website StrengtheningMarriage.com to learn more and to sign up for her “Straight Talk about Strengthening Marriage” newsletter.

StrengtheningMarriage.com is your trusted resource for education, products and services to strengthen marriages . . . intimately!

© Copyright 2012 Laura M. Brotherson. All rights reserved.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Other Ways to Connect with Laura!

You might as well just give it up guys! : )

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

For more tips to strengthen your marriage join us on Facebook!

FACEBOOK PAGE Strengthening Marriage, Inc.

FACEBOOK PAGE The Marital Intimacy Show

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Subscribe to Laura’s Strengthening Marriage Blog
     Subscribe to Blog Entries
     Subscribe to Blog Comments

Subscribe to The Marital Intimacy Show
     Receive Email Updates for Each Episode

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Marriage and intimacy expert, Laura M. Brotherson, is the author of a bestselling book on sexual intimacy and marital oneness entitled, And They Were Not Ashamed—Strengthening Marriage through Sexual Fulfillment.

Laura shares her passion for building strong marriages and families as an author, intimacy expert, marriage and family therapist, and host of “The Marital Intimacy Show” on The Women’s Information Network (The WIN). 

Visit her website StrengtheningMarriage.com to learn more and to sign up for her “Straight Talk about Strengthening Marriage” newsletter.

StrengtheningMarriage.com is your trusted resource for education, products and services to strengthen marriages . . . intimately!

© Copyright 2012 Laura M. Brotherson. All rights reserved.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Other Ways to Connect with Laura!

“The Dating Divas” SPECIAL of just $9 (continued thru 4/28) your copy of Laura’s book –
And They Were Not Ashamed!

Click here to listen to the tele-seminar recording 
(80 mins/30 mins of Q&A at the end)

Here are the presentation slides and related information for my “Three Keys to Spicing Up Your Sexual Relationship” tele-seminar (Wed, Apr 18, 2012) for The Dating Divas “Successful Marriages” Tele-Retreat. For more information click here!

Be sure you are registered here (or here) to get the call-in information and access to the recording after the seminar! Click here to listen to the tele-seminar recording (or here). I believe it is just $1 to register for a two-week trial membership of The Dating Divas Community!

1. SLIDES — Follow the seminar presentation outline at Laura’s Strengthening Marriage Blog
2. BOOK — Get Laura’s Book – And They Were Not Ashamed—Strengthening Marriage through Sexual Fulfillment — Just $9 (50% off)
3. CONNECT — Find Us on Facebook
• Strengthening Marriage, Inc. http://www.facebook.com/StrengtheningMarriage
• The Marital Intimacy Show http://www.facebook.com/MaritalIntimacyShow
4. PODCAST — The Marital Intimacy Show — Quick List of all Episodes
• www.TheMaritalIntimacyShow.com
5. NEWSLETTER – “Straight Talk about Strengthening Marriage”

See Podcast #001 & #002 – “Six Tips to Strengthen Your Marriage Sexually” — Part 1 & 2

Quick List of all “Marital Intimacy Show” Podcasts

See Podcast #023 – “Mood Music Q&A”

Quick List of all “Marital Intimacy Show” Podcasts

1. SLIDES — Follow the seminar presentation outline at Laura’s Strengthening Marriage Blog
2. BOOK — Get Laura’s Book – And They Were Not Ashamed—Strengthening Marriage through Sexual Fulfillment — Just $9 (50% off)
3. CONNECT — Find Us on Facebook
• Strengthening Marriage, Inc. http://www.facebook.com/StrengtheningMarriage
• The Marital Intimacy Show http://www.facebook.com/MaritalIntimacyShow
4. PODCAST — The Marital Intimacy Show — Quick List of all Episodes
• www.TheMaritalIntimacyShow.com
5. NEWSLETTER – “Straight Talk about Strengthening Marriage”

Related Seminar Information — click here!

Related Resources (discussed during the seminar):

• StrengtheningMarriage.com — Laura’s Straight Talk Q&A
• Straight Talk Q&A — When husbands are the ones with less interest in sex
• Podcasts — Episodes on body image issues #033 – #037
• Podcasts — Episodes on affair-proofing your marriage #005 – #008
• Podcasts — All Episodes “The Marital Intimacy Show”
• Article — Sexy is a state of mind
• Article — Date Night Articles & Quotes
• Laura’s Book (softcover) – And They Were Not Ashamed: Strengthening Marriage through Sexual Fulfillment (do the homework at the end of each chapter!)
• Laura’s Book (on CD) — And They Were Not Ashamed: Strengthening Marriage through Sexual Fulfillment
• Blog – Open Forum Q&A
• Book — The Sex Starved Wife by Michele Weiner Davis, DivorceBusting.com
  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

For more tips to strengthen your marriage join us on Facebook!

FACEBOOK PAGE  Strengthening Marriage, Inc.

FACEBOOK PAGE  The Marital Intimacy Show

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Subscribe to Laura’s Strengthening Marriage Blog
     Subscribe to Blog Entries
     Subscribe to Blog Comments

Subscribe to The Marital Intimacy Show
     Receive Email Updates for Each Episode

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Marriage and intimacy expert, Laura M. Brotherson, is the author of a bestselling book on sexual intimacy and marital oneness entitled, And They Were Not Ashamed—Strengthening Marriage through Sexual Fulfillment.

Laura shares her passion for building strong marriages and families as an author, intimacy expert, marriage and family therapist, and host of “The Marital Intimacy Show” on The Women’s Information Network (The WIN).

Visit her website StrengtheningMarriage.com to learn more and to sign up for her “Straight Talk about Strengthening Marriage” newsletter.

StrengtheningMarriage.com is your trusted resource for education, products and services to strengthen marriages . . . intimately!

© Copyright 2012 Laura M. Brotherson. All rights reserved.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Other Ways to Connect with Laura!

Living your sexual truth in marriage allows you to be more fully alive, more fully functioning as the multi-dimensional person you were divinely designed to be. God designed each of us as sexual beings. We must embrace that fact. It’s not only our marital relationship, but also our personal wholeness that is at stake.

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Living Your True Self

I recently attended a workshop about discovering and embracing your true self. It was an eye opening, and amazingly confirming and transforming experience. It was incredible to feel the difference when you truly accept and come home to who you are and live your truth more fully.

We all have things about ourselves that we might resist or try to downplay. We may even hide who we really are. Sometimes we are not even aware of it. Many good parts of our true selves get belittled or rejected at some point in our lives. Even well meaning family and friends, or the culture in which we live, has a way of making us feel ashamed of ourselves.

Asexual Self-View

Low sexual desire is one of the most common sexual issues couples face. I was intrigued to see some resonance between my Dressing Your Truth experience and some recent research about low sexual desire.

Women who struggle with sexual desire have been found to have an “asexual” self-view. They simply do not see or accept themselves as sexual beings. This is akin to not fully accepting important parts of who you are.

Without a sexual component to one’s identity, it’s little wonder that women struggle so with sexuality in marriage.

Sexuality in general and female sexuality more specifically tends to be ignored, discouraged, and even rejected. At the other end of the spectrum is a sexual free-for-all that is prominently promoted in popular culture.

It’s hard to find that rightful place somewhere in between where there is reverence for the sacredness of sexuality with some affirmation of its positive and wholesome purposes.

Embracing Your Sexuality

At what point does a woman receive the messages that her sexuality is a good and godly thing to be respected and embraced for it’s full expression within marriage? Young women are especially good at effectively internalizing the messages that are particularly intended for young men that they bridle or control those strong feelings.

In the process, many young women (and some men, too) shut their sexuality out completely, paving the way for frustration and heartache in marriage.

While it is wise counsel for both young men and women to learn to master their sexual feelings, somewhere along the line there is a lack of positive and affirming messages about the goodness of one’s sexuality and it’s enjoyment within marriage.

Short-term Vision Harms Marriage

The short-term perspective that is generally taken when giving sexual counsel to the youth, does much to harm the God-given gift of sexuality once it’s full expression is divinely granted within marriage. It’s one thing to help young people safely save their gift of sexuality for marriage, but it’s quite another to understand what it will take to fully enjoy this gift within marriage.

I’ve been saddened to see the pain of rejection that many husbands are feeling in their marriages. While many factors contribute to the lack of intimate expression and enjoyment in marriage, I have found that many women have simply not yet embraced their sexuality, putting husbands in a particularly helpless and hopeless predicament.

In an ongoing conversation on the Open Forum of my Strengthening Marriage Blog, one husband shared his situation as similar to many others who are without hope of a mutually fulfilling sexual relationship with their wives. He writes:

“I too have decided that I need to ‘give up on the dream’ of a relationship that I find fully fulfilling, turn it over to the Lord in prayer, and just try to be the best husband that I can. It has taken me years to get to this point. I do feel calmer most of the time than in the years before where I was often on the edge of being able to function. It is better now than when I would try REALLY hard to do everything possible and then emotionally crash when my hope was shattered. I do still try hard to be a good husband, but I don’t expect anything from it anymore. I do it because I am deeply in love with my dear wife, in spite of everything. One other thought that buoys me up is knowing that Satan is trying his best to use our sexual disconnect to drive a wedge into my marriage. I need to keep doing everything I can to keep that from happening, but it’s not easy.”

We must do better at instilling the wisdom of saving sex for marriage, while also helping young people understand it’s goodness, and prepare them to enjoy its godly purposes within marriage. It can truly be a grand source of strength for a husband and wife.

Sex is something God created as a wonderful gift for a husband and wife to enjoy in marriage. God designed each of us as sexual beings. We must embrace that fact. It’s not only our marital relationship, but also our personal wholeness that is at stake.

The Foundation of Sexual Fulfillment in Marriage

Especially for women, sexual expression is a product of healthy and positive thoughts and feelings about sex itself. A healthy sexual relationship in marriage requires healthy acceptance and full embracing of one’s sexuality as something good and wholesome. These provide the vital foundation for fulfilling sexual intimacy and passion in marriage.

When a woman has not yet fully embraced herself as a sexual being, designed that way by God, it will undermine all other efforts to create a strong and healthy relationship in marriage.

When there is a void of positive and affirming sex-related cognitions going into marriage, it’s a pretty steep climb to fill that void once married. It can be done. But, it would just be so much nicer for all of us to be better prepared to enjoy the exquisite gift of sexual expression in marriage.

Once a woman has fully embraced her sexuality as part of her identity, a flow of sex-related thoughts and feelings within marriage is still a necessary component of nourishing sexual desire. While it may seem like a foreign concept to some men, women generally must consciously cultivate such thoughts and feelings.

Living Your Sexual Truth in Marriage

Embracing your sexuality–one part of your true self–helps you to live your truth more fully in marriage. I believe God designed women to fully integrate their sexuality into their beingness, creating an incredible state of existence. It is a powerful position to live your whole truth!

This awakening and acceptance of one’s sexuality can have a lasting impact not only on the intimate relationship with one’s spouse, but also on one’s whole life. Living your sexual truth in marriage allows you to be more fully alive, more fully functioning as the multi-dimensional person you were divinely designed to be.

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Marriage and intimacy expert, Laura M. Brotherson, is the author of a bestselling book on sexual intimacy and marital oneness entitled, And They Were Not Ashamed—Strengthening Marriage through Sexual Fulfillment.

Laura shares her passion for building strong marriages and families as an author, intimacy expert, marriage and family therapist, and host of “The Marital Intimacy Show” on The Women’s Information Network (The WIN). 

Visit her website StrengtheningMarriage.com to learn more and to sign up for her “Straight Talk about Strengthening Marriage” newsletter.

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© Copyright 2012 Laura M. Brotherson. All rights reserved.

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