Some time ago the author of the upcoming book Famous Family Nights asked me to write a little bit about Family Home Evenings (FHE)  in our home to be featured in a book with other “famous” LDS personalities. (I think she’s stretching the “famous” thing just a bit! : ) Famous Family Nights is now available on our Strengthening Marriage Online Store.  I’m sure it will provide many ideas and insights into making family nights even more enjoyable and valuable for the whole family. But most of all I think it will relieve everyone to see that FHE can be a challenge sometimes for anyone!

Family Home Evening

For those who may not be familiar with Family Home Evenings, it is a night (usually Monday night) set aside by families to spend time together learning about the Gospel of Jesus Christ and doing other activities that “strengthen the family spiritually, create family memories, and increase unity and love.” You can learn more about FHE here or here.

New Book — Famous Family Nights

To learn more about this fun and informative new book click here. The author/editor, Anne Bradshaw, is currently having a drawing on her website (until Wednesday, July 22nd) for a free copy of the book And They Were Not Ashamed — Strengthening Marriage through Sexual Fulfillment and our talk on CD Love 101 — Learning to Love More Meaningfully. Visit her website to find out more and enter her free giveaway.

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Laura M. Brotherson is the author of a groundbreaking book on sexual intimacy and marital oneness entitled, And They Were Not Ashamed—Strengthening Marriage through Sexual Fulfillment. Laura shares her passion for building strong marriages and families as an author, intimacy educator and relationship consultant.

Visit her website www.StrengtheningMarriage.com to learn more and to sign up for her “Straight Talk about Strengthening Marriage” newsletter. StrengtheningMarriage.com is your trusted resource for education, products and services to strengthen marriages . . . intimately!

© Copyright 2009 Laura M. Brotherson. All rights reserved.

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Welcome to our “Open Forum 2″ discussion page! Due to the growing size of our first Open Forum page we have created a new section to post your questions and comments. Some of the last few discussion posts from the Open Forum 1 have been moved to this new Open Forum 2 page. Please reply to this Open Forum 2 post below for any new discussion questions/posts.

Click here to review previous discussions on Open Forum 1 (posts from Aug 14, 2007 – Jun 29, 2009).

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This is the place to post your questions and comments and have an open dialogue about subjects related to marriage, sex, intimacy and parenting. I know from your many personal emails and the conversations we’ve had at various events that there is an army of intelligent and intuitive people who have great insights and are seeking to strengthen their marriages intimately. I hope you will consider yourself a valuable resource in this forum as you share your questions and comments.

Please continue to be attentive to the tone of your posts, so that we can maintain an atmosphere of reverence and respect for the sanctity of sexuality in marriage. I will try to respond as often as I can, given my full plate as a graduate student, but I especially hope you will step up and share your insights as well. This is the place to build a community of people who want to learn and share how to strengthen marriages and families!

Some questions have been posted on our Comments Page that I will move over to this section to open up the discussion more easily. I can’t always respond to each question, yet I know there are many of you out there who may have a moment or two to share your thoughts in response to any questions that get posted here. As you reply to the various comments below this post it will thread the comments in order (newest posts are at the bottom) to make it fairly easy to follow the discussions.

Washington D.C. — A new study released today by Family Research Council’s Mapping America Project finds that children have fewer problems at school and home when they live with both biological parents and frequently attend religious services.

Our Christmas gift to you includes hot prices of nearly 50% off our talk on CD Love 101 (only $6.95) and Teaching Intimacy 101 2 CD audio book (only $8.95). 

You’ll also receive nearly 30% off the And They Were Not Ashamed softcover book (only $12.95) and the 12 cd audio book (only $27.95) . Click on the product image to get your copies today. What better gift for Christmas than a stronger marriage!

Here’s to a little economic cheer for the holidays! (Sale ends when the year ends!) 

I’m torn. I’m certainly excited about a vice-presidential candidate that is a strong, conservative, tax cutting, corruption-busting, pro-life mother and wife. Sarah Palin looks like a wonderful person with a great family. She appears to be a true patriot. I’m excited about her potential as a political leader. I’m sure all the intense media attention has been a huge burden on their family. I feel for them.

But my work as a marriage educator and advocate gives me a different focus and concern than those who are trying to destroy Sarah Palin’s political candidacy with unfounded hack jobs. My concern is for the young people, and even those not so young, who are receiving yet another media message that teen sex and pregnancy don’t appear to be that big of a problem.

Premarital sex and unwed parenthood are huge problems that are occurring far too often, affecting many lives in painful ways. The news of Sarah Palin’s daughter, Bristol, being pregnant and unmarried has been heart wrenching to me.

I understand that life happens. People make choices. We all do things we wish we hadn’t. I feel for Bristol to have to have her life situation publicly known and discussed. She is unfortunately paying a high price for her actions and for her mother’s political position. But too many other ears are listening to our response to not address the unfortunate realities of the situation.

When the Palins found that they had to address the rumors, I just wish they had expressed some sadness about the situation. This may be something they plan to do at some point, but I just wish it would have been sooner than later.

Consequences

Nearly every way you look at it, premarital sex has consequences that are not in the best interest of those involved (baby included). Educations are cut short, lives are inevitably altered, parenthood is preemptively begun, and marriage (when there is one) starts on shaky ground. Make no mistake, the child is always a gift from God, but the context in which the child is born is always less than ideal.

Lucky for Bristol she has a loving, supportive family that will help her through this difficult time and situation. But, one of the things that I think bothers me the most about the situation is that while her parents are trying to be loving and supportive, no message is being sent about the poor choices that were obviously made, or that sex outside of marriage is not a good idea. Such a message may have been conveyed privately, but it’s the public message I am most concerned about.

In Sarah Palin’s public statement about their daughter’s pregnancy, prior to her big acceptance speech, she focuses on being “proud” of Bristol for “having” the baby as opposed to “aborting” it. Choosing life over abortion is always commendable, and Sarah, herself, sets an inspiring example in giving life to a Down syndrome child.

I only wish there would have been some mention of sadness over Bristol’s situation. Making the best of the situation doesn’t mean you have to make it appear that there are no unfortunate consequences with which to contend, especially when you know that many impressionable ears are listening.

Research shows that young women do a cost-benefit analysis regarding such decisions, and are apparently deciding more and more that the costs of unwed pregnancy are not that high.

This is my primary concern. Millions of sons and daughters are listening to this situation and to what is said about sex and pregnancy outside of marriage. This article is not about judging the Palins, but is about taking a parental perspective and a preventative approach to prevent unwed sex and pregnancy. People learn by example, for good or for ill.

You may have heard of the 2007 movie called “Juno” where a young teen gets pregnant. Since then we have repeatedly seen the “Juno” effect in many other’s lives. We hear of the “Juno” effect in discussions of Jamie Lynn Spears and the recent unfortunate decision of 17 teenage girls in a Massachusetts high school to purposefully get themselves pregnant. They apparently had little understanding of or concern for the consequences to themselves, their families and most importantly to the children who will likely be raised without a father (if they even know who the fathers are).

I just hate to see Bristol Palin and the statements made about her situation become a “Bristol Effect” on other young women who see no negative consequences to having sex and getting pregnant outside of marriage. We need to be more proactive in de-glamorizing teen sex and pregnancy.

I don’t want teenagers to come away with the idea that it is just fine to have sex with your high school boyfriend. It probably seems that if they do get pregnant, the boyfriend will gallantly sweep them off their feet into marriage, and everyone will lavish attention and accolades on them for some aspect of the situation in an effort to make the best of the situation. Few of the difficult realities they will encounter are even mentioned.

Here are some of the many questions and consequences teens need to think about:

• Will the young woman be able to finish her education?
• Will she be able to provide for her child, should she find herself in additional unfortunate circumstances?
• Will the boyfriend be interested in marrying her?
• Would two teenagers be ready for the rigors of marriage and parenting? 
• Would such a young couple have what it takes to start their marriage already swimming upstream and still make a long-term success of it?
• Would the child be better off being given to two loving, mature, and married parents who have been praying for a child to adopt?
• Will the pregnant teenager end up as a single mom anyway like so many teenage mothers?
• Is the child going to end up not knowing or being raised by his/her father, because the father was unable to cut it in the rigors of marriage and parenthood?
• And if the child was given to another family to adopt, what kind of questions and heartache will that cause the child somewhere down the road?

My heart goes out to the Palin family at this time, in so many ways. I don’t want to add any burden to what they already have. But I imagine that with a focus on what impression is being received by other young people, Sarah Palin, and even her daughter, would probably agree that some mention of the sadness over the situation would have been appropriate.

Bristol doesn’t seem like the kind of girl that couldn’t handle her mother making a statement for the benefit of other young impressionable minds who may use Bristol’s poor choices to encourage theirs as well. I even asked my own daughter if it would have been okay for a mother to express sadness over the situation. She agreed that that would have been doable to share feelings of regret for the benefit of others.

Such a public statement would do much to contain the ongoing damage that is being done in our society with the abundant messages that sex outside of marriage is fine, that unwed motherhood is fine, that fathers are inconsequential to the well-being of a child, etc.

I know the Palin family has a lot of other things to worry about at this time, but as a conservative, pro-marriage and family advocate, I just wish things had been said a little differently than for their situation to potentially contribute to the terrible precedent that is being set regarding premarital sex and unwed parenthood.

Let it be clear that children are entitled to be reared by two loving parents—by a mother and a father—who are sufficiently mature and selfless, so that they can do what it takes to raise a child. Let it be clear that there is a good reason God simply asks that sex be reserved for marriage.

Contrary to the “safe sex” advocates, pre-marital abstinence IS the only way to assure that children are not aborted, but are raised by those who are ready and willing to make the necessary sacrifices for parenthood. And condoms are not the answer, since most teens notoriously fail to use them.

I don’t have enough personal insight about Bristol and her family, or Jamie Lynn Spears and her family, or the 17 high school girls and their families to know why they made the poor choices they’ve made. But they apparently felt the benefits outweighed the costs.

I do know that many young people are able to make the difficult choices to save sexual behavior for marriage, even in this sexually saturated culture.

Prevention

Some of the important components of helping our children make it through their young adult years and into marriage before they partake of God’s gift of sexual intimacy include:

• Expectations
• Education, and
• Emotional Connection

Expectations

Children need to understand their parents’ expectation that they remain morally chaste until marriage. For the 70 or so percent of the population that consider themselves to be Christian, including God in the discussion is critical. This is not just about parental expectations, but about God’s expectations. God is the one that asks us to save sex for marriage.

Our children may know that we would be terribly heartbroken to receive the news of sex or a pregnancy outside of marriage, but if we have done our job well, then they will be more heartbroken about letting God down than in letting their parents down.

It seems like our culture no longer even expects kids to not have sex. I think that’s crazy. It may be difficult, but it’s not impossible to make choices that keep you away from situations and overwhelming temptations.

There’s a pernicious and pervasive message out there that kids are just going to do it anyway, so you better give them a condom. That’s garbage.

Parents and other responsible citizens have a moral obligation to set the societal expectation that premarital chastity IS POSSIBLE, and that we believe they can do it!

The expectation I am talking about here is basically the concept of providing a foundation of faith—faith that you believe it’s possible, faith that you believe they can succeed at overcoming the pitfalls and temptations, and faith that you know that God won’t ask anything of them that isn’t possible, nor that He won’t help us with it.

Education

Parents must not just set expectations for their children then throw them out into the world. They must teach them why it’s important to go against the societal tide of sexual promiscuity. Parents must openly teach them how to stay away from the dangers, and how to proactively create a life that positively minimizes vulnerabilities and temptations.

This education includes spiritual training, as well as mental and emotional and social training. Role playing situations with our children that they may encounter, and teaching them how to appropriately and effectively handle such situations are part of the necessary parenting that’s required in our day and time.

Discussions about sex, dating, relationships, moral standards, social events, and other activities are all-important issues that must be addressed with our young people. Research shows that alcohol consumption is a significant contributing factor in premarital sex, so teach and help your children avoid it.

Steady dating with its ever-increasing emotional intimacy, or dating those who have questionable character are other areas to discuss with your children. Parents need to help their children navigate the critical teenage and young adult years by teaching them and showing them what healthy relationships look like and how to create them.

Emotional Connection

This brings us to the third component of preventing premarital sexual experimentation—emotional connection. Setting expectations, and even educating and preparing your children for the dangers they may encounter is not quite enough. Children must also feel an emotional connection or love between themselves and their parents.

It’s the easiest thing in the world for a young person to disregard any parental teachings or standards if they feel no love or respect for or from their parents. It’s so much easier for children to do all they can to made good choices and to do those things that their parents have taught them if they feel our love and our sincere concern for their needs.

Parents must spend not just quality time, but also quantity time in order to meet the needs of children. Learning what makes your children feel loved and doing those things regularly is your best defense against the destructive tide of drugs, sex, alcohol, pornography etc. that plague our society and our youth. This is no easy task.

Good parenting takes time and effort. What if children need your time and attention, but you are too busy? What if children need your patience, but you are too frazzled?

As a marriage educator I can’t leave out the fact that the state of your marriage has a huge effect on the well-being of your children, and significantly affects their vulnerability, or lack thereof, to destructive outside influences.

Parenting isn’t easy, and even the best parenting is susceptible to children making other choices. I think parents generally do the best they know how.

I hope the best for Bristol Palin and her boyfriend. I especially pray for their soon-to-be-born child.

I hope that someone somewhere reading this will think twice about the choices and the consequences of sex outside of marriage. I hope that more parents will do a better job teaching and preparing their children for the challenges they face.

God is a pretty smart guy. He’s still got the best plan out there for our peace and happiness and well-being. I hope we will be smart enough to listen.

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Laura M. Brotherson is the author of a groundbreaking book on sexual intimacy and marital oneness entitled, “And They Were Not Ashamed—Strengthening Marriage through Sexual Fulfillment.” Laura shares her passion for building strong marriages and families as an author, intimacy educator, blogger and podcaster.

You can visit her website www.StrengtheningMarriage.com to learn more, and to sign up for her “Straight Talk about Strengthening Marriage” newsletter.  StrengtheningMarriage.com is your trusted resource for education, products and services to strengthen marriages intimately!

© Copyright 2008 Laura M. Brotherson. All rights reserved.

It’s hard to find many things sexier than a daddy who loves his kids. They say men doing housework is a great aphrodisiac for women, but I think “daddywork” is way up there on the list as well. Roses and chocolates and romantic candle-lit dinners have their place for stirring the heart, but it’s hard to beat the feeling that comes from seeing your husband play with the kids, or help them with homework, or teach them something, or tuck them in at night. Now that’s a turn on!

Some men might find it strange that their wives would experience any erotic effect from them being actively engaged with their children, but when women make a point of nurturing sexual feelings towards their spouse, daddywork is a great reservoir from which those feelings can flow.

Prince Daddy

One day I was walking through a quaint arts and crafts fair in a small town when I saw this framed statement that said it all for me. It said, “My prince has come…His name is Daddy!” My prince is a daddy. He’s my kids’ daddy.

I loved the statement because it perfectly captured one of the best things I love about my husband–that he’s a great dad! It wasn’t until later that it dawned on me that the meaning I gave to the statement was probably not what was originally intended, but it works perfectly for me.

Tribute to My Kids’ Daddy

I hope you’ll forgive me for indulging in a personal tribute to my kids’ daddy at this Father’s Day season. If you care to peak, I share some of my favorite daddy photos of my good husband from over the years. He’s not perfect, but he’s perfect for me!

Happy Father’s Day Kevin, and Happy Father’s Day to all you other good daddies out there as well. I know there are many! I see them all around me.

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Daddy Tribute to My Honey

For more tips to strengthen your marriage connect with us on our Facebook Pages:

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Laura M. Brotherson is the author of a groundbreaking book on sexual intimacy and marital oneness entitled, And They Were Not Ashamed—Strengthening Marriage through Sexual Fulfillment. Laura shares her passion for building strong marriages and families as an author, intimacy expert, online show host, and relationship consultant.

Visit her website www.StrengtheningMarriage.com to learn more and to sign up for her “Straight Talk about Strengthening Marriage” newsletter. StrengtheningMarriage.com is your trusted resource for education, products and services to strengthen marriages . . . intimately!

© Copyright 2010 Laura M. Brotherson. All rights reserved.

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Parents will do almost anything for the welfare of their children. But talking with their kids openly and confidently about sex and intimacy doesn’t seem to be one of those things. When I ask audiences how many of them had parents who taught them more than half of their knowledge about sex, I rarely get more than a smattering of hands. Parents are chicken.

I feel for them though, because I used to be one of those chicken parents. I remember when I first realized that my husband and I needed to get busy talking with our children about sex (and intimacy and marriage). I didn’t know where to start. I didn’t know what to say. I thought how embarrassing it would be. I was chicken. It was quite a while before I could come up with the courage to do so.

Finding Courage

But we as parents have got to step up to the plate on this issue. So, how do we find the courage to take on this parental responsibility that is otherwise quite terrifying for many of us?

When our six-year-old son began to get bits of “sex education” at school that were inaccurate and negative, I began to find some courage. When I realized that it took more work for our kids to “unlearn” the inaccurate stuff they were already learning from the world, I began to find courage. When I realized that our kids were going to get a sex education whether I liked it or not, I began to find more courage.

Then when I realized that my teachings (or lack thereof) would have a profound effect on their future happiness and stability in marriage, I really got brave. And when I got the fact that if we as their parents could talk with them about sex, and them with us, that we would be able to talk about and handle anything that came our way, I no longer needed any more courage. I knew we could do it.

It wasn’t easy to develop the confidence and courage to tackle such a delicate yet important subject. I had to do some unlearning and some relearning myself. I had to work on some of my own issues in order to be genuine and positive in my teachings. I can see why many parents never quite get around to opening this dialogue with their kids. It can be pretty scary.

Shining a Light on the Subject

Most parents know they should talk to their children about sex, but don’t know what to say, or where to begin. I hope this article will shine a light on the subject, making it easier for parents to feel confident in the ongoing process of providing a positive and healthy dialogue about sex and intimacy with their children.

Parents can overcome any discomfort they may have, and prepare themselves and their children for these sacred conversations by learning what, when, why, and how to teach their children about the intricacies of intimacy, and better prepare them for a mutually fulfilling, lasting relationship in marriage. What a priceless opportunity parents have at their fingertips, if they will just reach out and grab it.

The following is some of the feedback we’ve received from parents who have been helped by the information we’ve shared:

“I cannot say enough good about this information. I not only learned things that I will be able to teach my children, but it taught ME so much!! Before listening to this book, I was nervous, anxious, a little embarrassed, and very apprehensive about how and when to teach my kids about sex. I can honestly say that I now feel 1000% confident in my abilities to teach my kids positive, responsible, and healthy understandings about sex and intimacy.”

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“Your book has empowered me. I have learned what married sex could and should be like. Also, reading about teaching my children about sex made me change. I realized that I wanted my daughters to love sex. How could I tell them it was wonderful if I didn’t believe that myself?”

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“With this information, we are now excited instead of scared about teaching our two daughters about sex.”

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So what is it that keeps parents from talking to their kids about this important subject, and how can we make it easier to take on this challenge?

Parental Barriers

Parents often encounter one or more of the following barriers in talking to their children about sexual intimacy and marriage:

• Embarrassment
• Lack of personal conviction regarding the sanctity of sex
• Lack of knowledge
• Fear that sexual knowledge will lead to promiscuity

Each of these barriers must be addressed so that discussions about sexuality can have a positive focus and be accompanied by a spirit of reverence and confidence. (For more information on this and each of the following sections, you can listen to the audio book “Teaching Intimacy 101,” or read the last three chapters of the book “And They Were Not Ashamed.”)

Parental Preparation to Teach

Some of the things parents can do to remove the barriers are to:

• Invite the Spirit to help guide them as they prepare, and as they teach.
• Gain a conviction of the sanctity of sex and the importance of teaching this to their children in preparation for a happy and successful marriage.
• Remove any negative beliefs and inhibitions they may have about sex.
• Get educated about sex and intimacy.
• Have open and healthy discussions about sex with your spouse.
• Have a practice discussion with your spouse (or the mirror) to be better prepared for a positive and relaxed experience with your children.

Building the Parent/Child Relationship

Parents are wise to spend some time building the relationship with their child before embarking upon these sacred discussions. This can be done by spending time together, especially one-on-one time, and learning how to love your child in the way they need to be loved. Hugs and handholding are always helpful. Refining your ability to see the good in your child, and express it openly, helps provide a positive foundation for sacred discussions about sex.

Not only do parents need to prepare themselves and their children for these discussions, but they also need to know what, when and how to go about it.

Taking a Positive Approach

Society is saturated with sexual information—most of it negative, distorted, even corrupt. Parents must go on the offensive, teaching a healthy and holy understanding of sexuality. Parents must transform their teachings from an almost exclusive emphasis on dire premarital warnings, to a positive emphasis on the marital blessings of sexual purity and the righteous sharing of physical intimacies within marriage.

What to Teach

Teaching children about sex is more than just teaching the mechanics. The more important teaching is that which creates an attitude of reverence and respect for sexual intimacy and marriage. With that tone you can then teach such things as God’s purposes for sex in marriage, gender acceptance and role learning, that the body is good and is a gift from God, as well as the essentials of procreation.

Depending upon the age and readiness of the child, parents need to prayerfully consider how much and when what teachings are needed. This is why “sex education” must not be a one-time event. Dr. Wayne Anderson suggested six general categories of information that need to be taught about procreation:

1. Bodily organs and their functions
2. Physical differences between boys and girls
3. The origin of babies
4. Intrauterine growth
5. The birth process
6. The father’s role

Other topics that parents will want to teach in the context of their values include:

• God’s standards for sex and intimacy including modesty and dating standards
• Sex can be controlled
• Sexual fulfillment takes time and effort after marriage
• The blessings of righteousness

When to Teach

When children are young, they are more teachable. Having appropriate discussions about sexuality and the body when children are young helps them develop a healthy foundation for sexual relations within marriage. Of course it’s best to start early, but it’s never too late even if your children are already married! The four most critical times that teaching is needed are:

1. Before the age of accountability (age 8 )
2. Before puberty
3. Before dating, and
4. Before marriage

How to Teach

The following are some suggestions for how to effectively provide sex-related teachings:

Fill Love Bucket First. Spend some time giving your child extra attention and love prior to a special parent/child discussion. Sex discussions are more effective if both parent and child feel love and warmth toward each other.

Ongoing Discussions and Teaching Opportunities. The quantity alone of important information that needs to be discussed requires that sex education be more than a one-time event. Gone are the days of having one “big talk” about the “birds and the bees.” Ongoing opportunities are needed, and parents must generally create them. A yearly discussion would be ideal, but be sure to at least catch the four important times: before age eight, before puberty, before dating and before marriage. One event for sex education does not provide sufficient opportunities for additional information as the child matures, nor does it allow for incorrect teachings that have accumulated to be addressed.

Prepare a Discussion Outline. You may need to do some homework to prepare yourself to teach and answer questions that may arise. Having a discussion outline allows you to think through what you want to teach and personally tailor the discussion to the age, gender, personality, and maturity level of each child. By preparing your own discussion outline, you also re-teach yourself and often address your own negative beliefs and inhibitions. You can start with the sample outline provided below then fill in any additional information.

Make It a Special Occasion. Sex education can become a special family tradition. If you make this an enjoyable event—perhaps at a restaurant or ice cream shop—children will begin to eagerly anticipate their annual tradition of a special date and discussion with Mom or Dad to receive the “next installment” of their sex education.

Schedule One-on-one Time. One-on-one discussions make it easier to assure the sacredness, specialness, and reverence of the occasion. A successful interaction is more likely when one parent and one child can discuss and address personal issues and questions in a casual atmosphere without the child feeling “ganged up on.” Talking with just one child at a time, also allows adjustments to be made to match the interest and maturity level of each child, including the appropriate quantity and depth of information to be provided. Some parents may prefer to have both parents in the discussion. This can also be effective. I personally think both parents and one child is a great format for the “before dating” discussion and the “before marriage” discussion.

Begin with Prayer. There may be no other occasion that requires more divine guidance and inspiration than that of sex-related teachings. Begin each parent/child discussion with prayer.

Do Dialogue. Don’t Lecture. No one likes to sit through a lecture. Using questions and encouraging discussion can make the learning more meaningful. At times it may be better to answer questions with a question, so that you can better understand what your child really wants and needs to know. If a child is only ready for a cupful of information, don’t pour a bucketful over them.

Teach the Correct Behavior. Teaching is more effective when you teach what to do instead of what not to do. Parents should suggest the desired behavior rather than condemn the negative behavior. If you tell your kids what they are doing wrong, they immediately visualize themselves doing it wrong, thus reinforcing the negative behavior. If we instead tell them to “save sexual expressions for marriage,” for instance, they create a positive picture of what you want them to do.

Focus on the Blessings. As you develop your own conviction of the sanctity of sexual relations, you will have more power to teach the positives and blessings of sexuality. Sprinkle awe and wonder throughout your teachings with statements such as, “Isn’t your body amazing!” or, “Aren’t you glad God made you this way?” or, “Isn’t that a wonderful way for mommies and daddies to show their love for each other!”

Teach by Example. Children learn more from the example of their parents than from their words. If parents can model a healthy acceptance and respect for their own sexuality, their children will be more likely to develop a healthy acceptance and respect for theirs.

Sample Discussion Outline

There are many subjects that parents will want to cover in the course of their teachings between a child’s youth and on into marriage. Parents can start with the following outline and add their own questions and appropriate answers depending on the age, gender, personality, and maturity level of the child. This sample outline suggests some of the basic issues to address for a first discussion with a 7 to 8-year-old child.

• God’s plan for families
• Acceptance of and the importance of one’s gender
• The special kind of love husbands and wives share
• How Satan tries to mislead people about sex
• Pornography
• Inappropriate/immoral behavior
• Caring for our bodies
• Protecting from abuse
• Respecting our own bodies

God Bless Parents

As scary as it was at first to contemplate talking with our children about sex, it was ultimately such a blessing not only to prepare ourselves, but also to take advantage of these sacred teaching opportunities with our children. Children deserve to develop a healthy and positive regard for their bodies and for the procreative act. They also deserve to be informed and knowledgeable, taught by loving parents who desire to shine a light into the mists of darkness that otherwise surround sexuality.

Parents can help children enter marriage with a healthy and positive respect for sexual intimacy. With a solid sexual foundation for marriage, mutual sexual fulfillment will occur more quickly and easily, reversing the trend of sexual problems as a leading cause of divorce.

Good parenting is no easy task. It requires a lot of courage. It requires the best that is in us . . . and then some! God bless parents in all their good efforts to teach and prepare their children for happy and successful marriages.

For more information, you can listen to the audio book “Teaching Intimacy 101,” or read the last three chapters of “And They Were Not Ashamed.”

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Laura M. Brotherson is the author of a groundbreaking book on sexual intimacy and marital oneness entitled, And They Were Not Ashamed—Strengthening Marriage through Sexual Fulfillment. Laura shares her passion for building strong marriages and families as an author, intimacy educator and relationship consultant.

Visit her website www.StrengtheningMarriage.com to learn more. Sign up today for her FREE “Straight Talk about Strengthening Marriage” newsletter. StrengtheningMarriage.com is your trusted resource for education, products and services to strengthen marriages intimately!

© Copyright 2008 Laura M. Brotherson. All rights reserved.

Check out the newly posted radio show podcasts on the new Podcast Page. These are FREE audio podcasts from Laura’s radio show segments with Dr. Liz Hale. Dr. Liz and author Laura M. Brotherson discuss the delicate subject of sexual relations in marriage with both candor and reverence.

Some of the many topics discussed in the podcasts include:

• Preparing for a positive honeymoon experience
• Teaching children about sexual intimacy
• Pornography’s effect on marital intimacy
• Reasons to make love
• How to bring up the topic of intimacy with your spouse
• How to answer what’s okay and what isn’t questions
• Why you were attracted to your spouse and how it can lead to your healing and wholeness
• Focusing on ourselves to improve our relationships
• Sex after childbirth
• Female sexual desire issues

Enjoy these podcasts and have fun strengthening your marriage!

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Laura M. Brotherson is the author of a groundbreaking book on sexual intimacy and marital oneness entitled, And They Were Not Ashamed—Strengthening Marriage through Sexual Fulfillment. Laura shares her passion for building strong marriages and families as an author, intimacy educator and relationship consultant.

Visit her website www.StrengtheningMarriage.com to learn more. Sign up today for her FREE “Straight Talk about Strengthening Marriage” newsletter. StrengtheningMarriage.com is your trusted resource for education, products and services to strengthen marriages intimately!

© Copyright 2008 Laura M. Brotherson. All rights reserved.

 “Popular thinking dictates that most children want to be astronauts or rock stars when they grow up. But it seems in reality their aspirations are far more down to earth. The most common childhood dream was to be happily married with a family . . . “ 

What can we as parents do to help our children fulfill their dreams of having a happy marriage and family? One thing would be to do our best to show them what a happy marriage looks like, as we go about creating a happy family. Kids who are raised in happy families have an easier time creating a happy family of their own. If your marriage isn’t happy, get some help to learn how to turn it around.

As you are raising your children help them develop the characteristics and skills that make it easier for them to be a good husband and father or wife and mother. Help your children develop patience and unselfishness. Help them learn to see things through someone else’s eyes.

Help them learn how to communicate their wants and needs and feelings. Help them learn how to serve others willingly and to find fulfillment in hard work. Help them learn to make sacrifices to help others.

Sometimes I find myself saying things to my children like, “Boy, your future wife/husband is going to love how helpful you are,” or “Aren’t you glad you know how to work, so that you’ll be a good parent when you grow up?” These and other comments help reinforce attitudes and behaviors that can lead them to create happier marriages.

Having a happy-marriage focus for your children as you raise them will help them be better prepared to fulfill their dreams of having a happy marriage and family when they grow up.

Click here to read the full article:

“Forget astronaut dreams, most kids just want a happy marriage”
     By Colin Fernandez, September 10, 2007

“And They Were Not Ashamed” Softcover Book only $12! (reg $17.95)

We’ve put together an incredible special offer because we’re serious about strengthening marriages intimately! For a limited time, the softcover book “And They Were Not Ashamed — Strengthening Marriage through Sexual Fulfillment” will be just $12. Yes, you read that right…$12. (Regular price is $17.95.)

Click on the link above or the bookcover image to the right to take advantage of this great offer!

Free Bonus Gift of “Love 101″ Talk on CD with Each Order

As if the price of the book weren’t amazing enough, we will include a copy of our latest Talk on CD “Love 101 — Learning to Love More Meaningfully” (regular price $12.95) with each online order as a FREE gift to you, or for someone you care about.

Learning to love your spouse in the way they most need you to is one of the first steps couples must take to begin to move their marriage forward and upward. This fabulous 50-minute CD will show you the way!

Purchase any book or CD at our Strengthening Marriage Online Store and receive a FREE bonus gift of one “Love 101″ talk on CD with each order. 

We hope this offer is an irresistible incentive for you to get busy strengthening your marriage (or helping somebody else)! Click here to go to the Strengthening Marriage Online Store.