Laura's Strengthening Marriage Blog » Sex

Developing a Sexual Identity

Laura M. Brotherson — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 06:30:49 +0000

This post is in connection with episode #030 “I Am a Sexual Being, and It’s Good” of The Marital Intimacy Show. For your convenience, the questions from that episode are posted here.

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I’ve recently come across some interesting research about women and the sexual issues they face, and what some of the best approaches are for helping women with these issues. It really boils down to women developing a sexual identity, or having that foundation for their intimate relationship in marriage.

Sexual Identity

What is a sexual identity? Basically it means that you see yourself as a sexual being, and embrace that as a good thing. And I’d even take it a step further to say that part of a healthy sexual identity is understanding the fact that your sexuality is of God.

Questions for Developing Your Sexual Identity

What I’d like to share here are some of the questions provided in the research, so that you can begin to explore these issues on your own. I’d suggest you get a notebook and begin to do some writing–investigating these questions.

Here are 15 questions to ponder, and do some writing about:

What do I think about sex? What does sex mean to me? What does sex mean to God?
What do I think about my body…all parts of it?
How did I learn about sex? What was I taught?
What do I want from sex? What do I want it to accomplish?
What kinds of things give me pleasure, even if not sexual?
Which of my senses give me pleasure? Touch? Taste? Sight? etc.
What am I passionate about, even if it’s not sexual? (Have a conversation with yourself about passion itself.) …Where are your passions? What do they say about you?
If your passions are non-sexual, what does that mean for you?
Have I ever been passionate about sex?
What was different then? What was different about me then?
Where did my passionate self go?
What things might I need to grieve over regarding passion in my life? Sexual or otherwise? (A lot of women have experienced some pain and heartache about sexual things…Those issues must be addressed and healed–usually with the help of a therapist.)
What keeps me from wanting and/or enjoying pleasure now?
What would it mean and what would it look like if I took responsibility for reconnecting my passion to my sexuality?
What would it mean to my husband if I embraced my sexuality? What would it mean to my children?

References:

Foley, S. (2003). Women in sex therapy: Developing a sexual identity. Contemporary Sexuality, 37(9), 7-13.

Related Resources:

PODCAST — Episode #030 “I Am a Sexual Being…” on “The Marital Intimacy Show“
ARTICLE — “Embracing Sexuality“

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Marriage and intimacy expert, Laura M. Brotherson, is the author of a bestselling book on sexual intimacy and marital oneness entitled, And They Were Not Ashamed—Strengthening Marriage through Sexual Fulfillment.

Laura shares her passion for building strong marriages and families as an author, intimacy expert, marriage and family therapist, and host of “The Marital Intimacy Show” on The Women’s Information Network (The WIN).

Visit her website StrengtheningMarriage.com to learn more and to sign up for her “Straight Talk about Strengthening Marriage” newsletter.

StrengtheningMarriage.com is your trusted resource for education, products and services to strengthen marriages . . . intimately!

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Sex is Easy–Lovemaking Takes Effort

Laura M. Brotherson — Sat, 14 Jan 2012 00:37:44 +0000

The mechanics of “having sex” are fairly simple, but really “making love” and developing a good intimate relationship takes some time and effort. Movies, pornography and other media tell us that sex is–or should be–easy, which is a set up for problems in a real relationship. For those who have ingested pornography, it’s difficult to have a healthy and accurate perspective of sexuality, and to separate fantasy from reality.

Pornography–The Sex Mis-educator

Pornography is a dangerous sex educator of many misconceptions. Studies are showing that because parents are not having open discussions about sex and intimacy with their children that porn and other media are being the educators. (This also applies to spouses who do not talk openly with each other about their sexual relationship.) For many people the media is not only the primary source of sex education, but the only education they receive.

“Sex” is one-dimensional, whereas “lovemaking” encompasses all dimensions of the marriage relationship. From pornography, young people (and adults) begin to believe that what they see is real and normal.

Porn objectifies women (and men) as mere objects of sexual desire. Porn makes viewers forget the fact that sex was designed for the shared enjoyment of two people–husband and wife–who have feelings as well as differing needs and expectations.

Porn leads people to believe that men and women are both always (and equally) interested in sex. Imagine the surprise when someone finds that their spouse needs to feel close emotionally before they are ready for sexual expression.

Porn is all about self-gratification not mutual fulfillment. Porn leaves out the interpersonal and emotional elements of lovemaking focusing solely on the physicality of sex. This makes sex feel selfish, or frustrating for those who don’t want to engage in the mental and emotional connection needed in a healthy relationship.

If the blueprint of a “normal” sexual relationship comes from pornography or sexually-explicit movies, one might be surprised to find that one’s spouse has a different idea of what’s acceptable sexually, or that they are not comfortable with certain things. It may not even cross the media-saturated mind that one’s spouse might think any differently about sex than they do.

Porn teaches that men and women are both equally enthusiastic about engaging in any kind of sexual behavior, and that people can make demands without regard for the feelings and preferences of the other. If couples aren’t communicating, then two different sexual blueprints are likely to collide.

Pornography represents a one-track mind on a one-track adventure. Imagine one’s surprise to find that their spouse is not constantly planning the next sexual adventure, or making it a full-time obsession to devise ways to spice up one’s sex life.

Pornography portrays sex as so easy. No relationship issues. No rejection. No foreplay. No hassle. No need to be nice and considerate and loving toward the other throughout the day. Just pure, selfish pleasure and fantasy.

Porn is sexual fantasy. Porn is sex without intimacy. Sex without the context of intimacy is empty and can never satisfy.

Intimacy is Scary

Intimacy is inherently anxiety producing. It involves self-disclosure, self-awareness, and self-acceptance. It involves sharing the good, bad and the ugly about yourself. If you don’t necessarily like who you are, it’s a real challenge to openly share yourself with another.

Intimacy involves being vulnerable. It involves exposing ourselves–body, mind and soul. Sex is easy if you can just avoid the intimacy stuff! But the intimacy stuff is part of what turns “having sex” into “lovemaking.”

One of the primary cause’s of husbands being the lower-desire spouse is the fact that true intimacy can be terrifying. They’d rather not risk it. They’d rather just keep their distance. This also makes porn a seemingly-perfect escape. It’s sex without the “scary” part.

What’s in Your Sexual Blueprint?

Think about how much influence the media have had on your mental blueprint of what sex is all about. The media-educated mind has some sexual unlearning to do, and some new learning to acquire. It requires each of us who have had less-than-an-ideal sexual education to face up to what we’ve been taught and what we’ve accumulated from various questionable sources. We’ve got some homework to do!

So while media may have led you to believe that sex or lovemaking is easy, always hot and full of romance, or should be, the good news is that with a willingness to learn about the realities of a healthy sexual relationship, and with a willingness to change, sex can become what it was designed to be–a mutually fulfilling physical, emotional and spiritual expression of love and passion. It’s worth the effort!

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For more tips to strengthen your marriage join us on Facebook!

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Strengthening Marriage, Inc.

FACEBOOK PAGE

The Marital Intimacy Show

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Subscribe to Laura’s Strengthening Marriage Blog
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Subscribe to Blog Comments

Subscribe to The Marital Intimacy Show
Receive Email Updates for Each Episode

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Visit her website StrengtheningMarriage.com to learn more and to sign up for her “Straight Talk about Strengthening Marriage” newsletter.

StrengtheningMarriage.com is your trusted resource for education, products and services to strengthen marriages . . . intimately!

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Have You Lost That Lovin’ Feeling about Kissing?

Laura M Brotherson — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 06:47:24 +0000

Many couples have lost that lovin’ feeling when it comes to kissing and making out!

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When was the last time you and your spouse made out?! Many couples have lost that lovin’ feeling when it comes to kissing and having fun making out.

When couples were dating, kissing was an exciting and savored experience. But after marriage many couples seem to abandon sensual, lip-to-lip (face or neck) kissing, not only because additional sexual pleasures are now available, but maybe for other more intimate reasons of which they may not be aware.

So go park somewhere after date night with the agreement to have some fun sensually and/or teasingly exploring each other’s face, lips, mouth, neck, ears, and eyelids with kissing, nibbling, touching–being as creative as possible–without any pressure or expectation that it will lead to something more.

Add a little background music to help set the mood. As I explain in the book And They Were Not Ashamed: Strengthening Marriage Through Sexual Fulfillment intimacy is best without expectations or strings attached!

So when was the last time you made out with your spouse?

Related Resources:

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For more tips to strengthen your marriage join us on Facebook!

FACEBOOK PAGE

Strengthening Marriage, Inc.

FACEBOOK PAGE

The Marital Intimacy Show

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Subscribe to Laura’s Strengthening Marriage Blog
Subscribe to Blog Entries
Subscribe to Blog Comments

Subscribe to The Marital Intimacy Show
Receive Email Updates for Each Episode

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Visit her website StrengtheningMarriage.com to learn more and to sign up for her “Straight Talk about Strengthening Marriage” newsletter.

StrengtheningMarriage.com is your trusted resource for education, products and services to strengthen marriages . . . intimately!

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Self-Help Sex Therapy

Laura M. Brotherson — Mon, 02 Jan 2012 20:36:59 +0000

Now that I am pretty heavy into counseling and therapy in my practice I am finding it difficult to find enough time to help everyone that is requesting my services. In addition, there are some who may not be able to afford counseling or who have spouses that won’t talk to anyone about it…at least at this point.

So, the purpose of this post is to provide some first steps for individuals or couples while they are waiting for additional help (particularly those on my current waiting list) or for those who are on their own in trying to improve their intimate relationship.

1. Read and Do the Homework in And They Were Not Ashamed

Step 1 of your self-help sex therapy is definitely to read (either together or on your own) my book And They Were Not Ashamed—Strengthening Marriage through Sexual Fulfillment and do the homework suggested at the end of each chapter. This is similar to the kind of counseling work I would do with clients in sessions (and the homework I would give as well) to help clients identify what is getting in the way of them enjoying the sexual relationship as God intended it.

One of the reasons I wrote this book was because many people unfortunately wont go see a sex therapist, but they will read a book in the privacy of their own home. My book is available on CD or at Audible.com for you to listen to. It will soon be available as an ebook in it’s various formats. Yay!

2. Listen to The Marital Intimacy Show Podcasts

Step 2 is to listen to as many of my short and sweet Marital Intimacy Show podcasts as you can, and do at least a brief writing afterwards of the highlights and/or anything that caught your attention as applicable to your situation. These episodes are like FREE mini self-help counseling sessions that I would be having with you and/or your spouse if we were in a session together.

3. Utilize my Other Resources

Step 3 is to be sure you are utilizing the other resources I have for addressing your sexual questions and issues. In addition to the MIS audiocasts, other resources I have include:

My blog – Laura’s Strengthening Marriage Blog. You’ll find many articles and posts that address the common issues couples face. My blog here also has a great reservoir of conversations between myself and our fabulous blog followers asking questions and trying to help each other out with their marital and intimacy challenges. You can find that information in the Open Forum sections on this blog.
My Articles. I’ve written over 50 articles available on my website strenmarr.com to help you think through some of the challenges you may be facing. I generally provide some suggestions or action items for you to actively work on various dimensions of your life and your relationship.
Facebook and Twitter. Social media is another great resource for information sharing, so be sure to join us on my Marital Intimacy Show page and my Strengthening Marriage, Inc. page on FB or follow me on Twitter @LauraBrotherson or @MaritalIntimacy to receive daily insights and motivation to help you strengthen your marriage.
Newsletter. My “Straight Talk about Strengthening Marriage” newsletter is another resource to provide help in strengthening your marriage.
Straight Talk Q&A — In my “Straight Talk Q&A” I’ve answered a lot of common questions that I’ve received over the years that can also help you figure out some helpful solutions for your own situation.
More Books on the Way. Since there is no chance I’ll ever be able to help all those who may want or need my individual time and services, I am working on my next two books that again are very much what we would be working on together in counseling sessions. One of these next books will encapsulate the key secrets of female sexuality and the other will highlight the important aspects of male sexuality. These will be additional valuable resources for couples to have for additional self-help sex therapy.

4. Get Professional Help

Step 4 is to get professional help if the above steps are not enough.

I was telling my husband the other day that I just had to get doing my podcasts more frequently and to get our next two books written because I’m just not being able to reach enough people who want my help and he said, “You know Laura, that may be true, but I’m not sure any of those things can actually replace someone talking with your directly.” It was certainly a sweet thing for him to say, but it is also kinda true.

There’s a magic that happens in the process of counseling together that you really can’t recreate any other way. So, do get some help if the above suggestions are not enough. Thankfully for many couples it is enough to help them shift their sexual relationship! But that won’t be true for everyone.

So, to recap, (1) read my book And They Were Not Ashamed, (2) listen to my podcasts, (3) read and use the other resources on my website StrengtheningMarriage.com, and then (4) seek out professional help in the form of counseling or even just a couple consultations.

I hope this gives you some guidance as you engage in your own self-help sex therapy and work toward creating a wonderful, mutually fulfilling sexual relationship in your marriage!

Related Resources: ”Self-Help Sex Therapy” episode #057 The Marital Intimacy Show podcast

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For more tips to strengthen your marriage join us on Facebook!

FACEBOOK PAGE

Strengthening Marriage, Inc.

FACEBOOK PAGE

The Marital Intimacy Show

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Subscribe to Laura’s Strengthening Marriage Blog
Subscribe to Blog Entries
Subscribe to Blog Comments

Subscribe to The Marital Intimacy Show
Receive Email Updates for Each Episode

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Visit her website StrengtheningMarriage.com to learn more and to sign up for her “Straight Talk about Strengthening Marriage” newsletter.

StrengtheningMarriage.com is your trusted resource for education, products and services to strengthen marriages . . . intimately!

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Other Ways to Connect with Laura!

Yay for Date Night!—Quotes & Resources

Laura M. Brotherson — Fri, 09 Dec 2011 11:00:49 +0000

It’s Friday night. Do you have some plans for date night with your spouse?! It need not be expensive, just something to give you a chance to reconnect after a long week. It’s also great for emotional foreplay for both husband and wife! : )

One of the purposes of date night is to build positive associations of fun and enjoyment with your spouse and the relationship you share. It’s just too easy for the weight of the world to pull you apart without dedicated time and attention for pleasurable reconnecting with your spouse. Don’t let the opportunity pass you by!

DATE NIGHT QUOTES

More marriages die of neglect than of anything else. Don’t forget Date Night!
Date Night is insurance for your marriage.
Date night is great emotional foreplay for both husband and wife.
Date Night–It’s cheaper than marriage counseling! : )
If women would spend more time working on the sexual relationship in their marriage and less time on other things (like what to do for date night) their relationship would improve by leaps and bounds. The truth is that improving the sexual relationship is probably the single most effective thing couples can do to build a strong marriage, because to get the sexual relationship working well already requires that most other important dimensions be nurtured as well.
Date night gives you a chance to get away from it all and slip into “couple mode” for a few delightful hours.
Date Night–It’s my favorite night of the week!
Date night is NOT optional for those who want to create a close and connected intimate relationship.
Date Night — Just do it!
Date Night — When there’s a will there’s a way!
Date Night…it’s definitely worth the effort!
Date night helps to keeps the fun in the relationship. When the fun goes out of the marriage then the motivation to deal with the inevitable challenges goes too.
Marriage requires constant nourishment. Date night nourishes the relationship mentally, emotionally, physically and even sexually…if you’re lucky! : )
Date Night is a great way to easily take care of “Tenderness, Thoughtfulness, Teasing, Talk, Touch, Time” which are all part of the “8 T’s” of feeding into and nourishing female sexuality.
“Couples can do a lot to improve their marriages by going out alone to do something special, just the two of them, with no children tagging along” (~ Gary Panetta).
“Marriage is work. Your marriage is going to be only as good as the work you put into it” (~ Kristy Hemmele).
Date night is not Family night! Get a babysitter and go enjoy some alone time with your honey. Strengthening your marriage with regular date nights is the best thing you can do for your kids anyway!
Date Night – “Creating informal rituals when you can connect emotionally is critical in a marriage” (John M. Gottman, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work)
“One drawback of long-term love is that many couples allow dating to fall by the wayside. The two of you can easily fall into a routine and into the mind-set that just being together is enough. However, continuing to ‘date’ your long-term love will help your relationship go the distance” (Dr. Laura Berman).
Date night can be a real oasis in a couple’s life!
Date Night — It’s my light at the end of the tunnel!

OTHER DATE NIGHT RESOURCES

Blog — Love, Actually Blog (wonderful and creative date ideas)
Blog — The Dating Divas (12 dating diva girlfriends share their fun and inexpensive date ideas)
Article — “Date Night is NOT Optional” by Laura M. Brotherson
Article — “Raising the Bar on Date Night” by Laura M. Brotherson
Article — “43 Date Night Ideas” (fun date night ideas from Redbook magazine)
Article — “Date Night on a Dime” (fun and inexpensive Date Night ideas)
Website — “Hot Date Ideas” (lots of different Date Night ideas)
Article — “10 Outside-the-box Date Ideas” (fun new date ideas!)

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For more tips to strengthen your marriage join us on Facebook!

FACEBOOK PAGE

Strengthening Marriage, Inc.

FACEBOOK PAGE

The Marital Intimacy Show

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Subscribe to Laura’s Strengthening Marriage Blog
Subscribe to Blog Entries
Subscribe to Blog Comments

Subscribe to The Marital Intimacy Show
Receive Email Updates for Each Episode

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Visit her website StrengtheningMarriage.com to learn more and to sign up for her “Straight Talk about Strengthening Marriage” newsletter.

StrengtheningMarriage.com is your trusted resource for education, products and services to strengthen marriages . . . intimately!

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We Have eBooks!

Laura M. Brotherson — Thu, 01 Dec 2011 23:00:42 +0000

eBook — And They Were Not Ashamed –
just $4.99 til Jan 10th, 2012!

We have eBooks! We’re thrilled to finally have our book And They Were Not Ashamed: Strengthening Marriage through Sexual Fulfillment available in eBook format for all you eBookers out there!

Click here for our eBook if you have the Amazon Kindle and click here for our Nook Book if you have a Nook from Barnes & Noble.

New to eBooks?

For those of you who are new to the world of eBooks, an eBook is an electronic book in a downloadable digital format readable on computers, cell phones (through eBook apps), or other electronic devices or tablets such as the Amazon Kindle, the Barnes & Noble Nook reader, or an iPad tablet.

Amazon.com is where you would get my eBook if you have a Kindle or Kindle app on your cell phone (iPhones, Smartphones, Droids, etc.) or if you have an e-reader tablet (iPads, Droid tablets, etc.). Barnes & Noble.com is where you would download my eBook for your Nook tablet.

You can learn all you need to know about the world of eBooks in this informative article if you are just now entering (or contemplating) : “Kindle vs. Nook vs. iPad: Which e-Book Reader Should You Buy?”

To purchase the eBook And They Were Not Ashamed: Strengthening Marriage through Sexual Fulfillment by Laura M. Brotherson:

Click if you have the Amazon Kindle
Click here if you have a Nook from Barnes & Noble

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For more tips to strengthen your marriage join us on Facebook!

FACEBOOK PAGE

Strengthening Marriage, Inc.

FACEBOOK PAGE

The Marital Intimacy Show

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Subscribe to Laura’s Strengthening Marriage Blog
Subscribe to Blog Entries
Subscribe to Blog Comments

Subscribe to The Marital Intimacy Show
Receive Email Updates for Each Episode

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Visit her website StrengtheningMarriage.com to learn more and to sign up for her “Straight Talk about Strengthening Marriage” newsletter.

StrengtheningMarriage.com is your trusted resource for education, products and services to strengthen marriages . . . intimately!

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Other Ways to Connect with Laura!

Open Forum 3

Laura M. Brotherson — Tue, 12 Apr 2011 01:46:39 +0000

Welcome to our new “Open Forum 3” discussion page!

We continue to create new Open Forum pages for you to post your questions and comments, and for us all to discuss important marriage and intimacy issues. Please post your new comments/questions to this Open Forum 3 post below.

For additional insights, you can review previous discussions by clicking on the links below:

Open Forum 3 (to post NEW questions and comments)
Open Forum 2 (posts from Jun 30, 2009 — Apr 3, 2011)
Open Forum 1 (posts from Aug 14, 2007 – Jun 29, 2009)
Laura’s Straight Talk Q&A (for other questions and answers from Laura)

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This is the place to post your questions and comments and have an open dialogue about subjects related to marriage, sex, intimacy and parenting. I hope you will consider yourself a valuable resource in this forum, as you share not only your questions, but also your own insights and solutions.

Please continue to be attentive to the tone of your posts, so that we can maintain an atmosphere of reverence and respect for each other and the sanctity of sexuality in marriage.

I will try to respond as often as I can, but hope you will step up and share your insights as well.

As you reply to the various comments below it will thread each comment in order (newest posts at the bottom) to make it fairly easy to follow the discussions.

Some readers incorrectly post their questions on our StrengtheningMarriage.com Comments Page instead of here in this forum. I will move those questions over here to this forum to allow for easier discussion.

Thank you all for your participation here! Let’s learn and improve our marriages together! : )

StrengtheningMarriage.com Discount at The Anniversary Inn

Laura M. Brotherson — Sun, 10 Apr 2011 06:15:54 +0000

We are thrilled to announce that The Anniversary Inn is now offering our StrengtheningMarriage.com fans a fabulous discount at all their Anniversary Inn locations in Salt Lake City, Utah, Logan, Utah and Boise, Idaho!

You can now enjoy a 25% off discount on any romantic, luxurious Anniversary Inn suite (any night, any location, Sappire level suites excluded)! Check out all fun themed suites by Clicking Here!

To reserve your romantic getaway you can either call 1-800-324-4152 to reserve your suite and ask for the “StrengtheningMarriage.com” discount or make your reservation online then call to have the “StrengtheningMarriage.com” discount added to your account.

Some of my favorite things about The Anniversary Inn:

The sparkling cider!
The delectable cheesecake desserts!
The jacuzzi!
The fireplace!
The warm delicious breakfast delivered right to your door at the time you specify…in case you want to sleep in! : )
The big-screen TV with free movie rentals!
The romantic ambience of the Anniversary Inn suites! : )

Fun Anniversary Inn Photos

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For more tips to strengthen your marriage join us on Facebook!

FACEBOOK PAGE

Strengthening Marriage, Inc.

FACEBOOK PAGE

The Marital Intimacy Show

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Subscribe to Laura’s Strengthening Marriage Blog

Subscribe to Blog Entries

Subscribe to Blog Comments

Subscribe to The Marital Intimacy Show

Receive Email Updates for Each Episode

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Marriage and intimacy expert Laura M. Brotherson is the author of a bestselling book on sexual intimacy and marital oneness entitled, And They Were Not Ashamed—Strengthening Marriage through Sexual Fulfillment. Laura shares her passion for building strong marriages and families as an author, intimacy expert, relationship consultant, and host of the online “Marital Intimacy Show.”

Visit her website StrengtheningMarriage.com to learn more and to sign up for her “Straight Talk about Strengthening Marriage” newsletter. StrengtheningMarriage.com is your trusted resource for education, products and services to strengthen marriages . . . intimately!

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Other Ways to Connect with Laura!

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50 Reasons to Make Love

Laura M. Brotherson — Thu, 09 Dec 2010 23:03:41 +0000

50 Reasons to Make Love

To relieve stress.
To improve emotional intimacy.
To boost your immune system.
To burn calories.
To improve heart health.
To build self esteem.
To decrease pain.
To improve sleep.
To help reduce prostate cancer risk.
To strengthen pelvic floor muscles.
To increase blood flow in the body.
To reduce cravings and fatigue.
To connect emotionally, physically and spiritually as husband and wife.
To fight aging.
To awaken your sexual senses.
To say, “I love you” in your spouse’s love language.
To experience pure pleasure.
To just have fun together, and be more playful.
To fulfill each other’s universal need for touch.
To reduce vulnerability to temptation.
To experience many physiological and psychological health benefits.
To help repair and/or rejuvenate the relationship.
To experience validation.
To become ONE.
To affirm that sex is of God.
To help you feel more calm and contented (and less irritable).
To co-create children. (Remember multiply and replenish the earth…!)
To keep the spark alive in marriage.
To experience lovemaking’s natural anti-depressant effects.
To increase her sexual desire, and better satiate his desire as well (or vice versa)!
To experience profound joy and intimacy.
To experience a “wholesome recreational activity” as husband and wife.
To switch gears from parent or employee to spouse and sweetheart.
To help you forget about all your cares for a little while.
To nurture love and friendship in marriage.
To forgive.
To heal wounds in the relationship.
To give a “gift” to the one you love. (BTW, this is a great Christmas gift for your honey!)
To enjoy “God’s wedding gift to husband and wife.”
To get to “know” each other (as defined in the Bible).
To cure a headache.
To practice and perfect the intricate art of lovemaking.
To overcome negative inhibitions and beliefs about sex.
To fulfill the human need for intimacy and connection.
To awaken, embrace and develop your sexuality.
To practice asking for what you want and need sexually.
To learn how to give what your spouse wants and needs sexually.
To experience the “exultant ecstasy” of lovemaking available to every couple.
To develop the “higher faculties and nobler traits” of human existence.
To enhance and reinforce marital unity and commitment.

and . . . Just Because! (My husband made me add this one!)

For more on the benefits of sex listen to Laura on The Marital Intimacy Show episode #052 — “50 Reasons to Make Love”

See Also — WebMD article: 10 Health Benefits of Sex

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For more tips to strengthen your marriage join us on Facebook!

FACEBOOK PAGE

Strengthening Marriage, Inc.

FACEBOOK PAGE

The Marital Intimacy Show

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Subscribe to Laura’s Strengthening Marriage Blog

Subscribe to Blog Entries

Subscribe to Blog Comments

Subscribe to The Marital Intimacy Show

Receive Email Updates for Each Episode

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Other Ways to Connect with Laura!

What to Get Your Santa-Honey for Christmas!

Laura M. Brotherson — Tue, 07 Dec 2010 19:52:57 +0000

Christmas is only getting closer…still wondering what to get your hubby?

RomanticMarriages.com offers a fabulous, all-inclusive “Merry Christmas Deer” romance kit!

“We noticed that during the Holidays our husbands were the last to get some of our time and attention, so a few Christmases ago we each decided to change that. Now our husbands are more excited about what they are getting for Christmas than our kids!” (Founders of RomanticMarriages.com)

This kit makes it so easy to have a little holiday fun and frolic with your husband. The kit begins with a “good boy” letter for your man that says…“The elves reported you’ve been a good boy by being my man through the year, so Santa decided you’d get what YOU want. Delivery will be by his deer!”

You then visit him on the nights leading up to Christmas as Santa’s sexy and slightly naughty deer. Each deer delivers her own gift that makes a very unique memory. (All gifts are included in the kit with the exception of a gift certificate to his favorite restaurant.) The kit is great at creating genuine anticipation as your man wonders which of Santa’s deer are visiting next? With the arrival of the first deer, “Flasher” (Dasher’s naughty twin) your holiday fun begins!

The ladies at RomanticMarriages.com have done all the work for you… so you get to have all the fun!

Order your Christmas Deer kit today!