Glenn Beck, Chick Flicks and Foreplay
July 25th, 2007 by Laura M. Brotherson
My husband and I had a hilariously fun time at a Glenn Beck show when he was in town a while back. That guy cracks me up! Glenn Beck has a TV show on CNN and a talk radio show as well. His show was a mix of comedy, hilarity and politics. It was great!
His marriage-related tirades were side-splitting. One of his marital rants involved “bonnet movies,” and I knew exactly where he was going to go with this. I’ve heard it too many times before.
I knew full well he was getting ready to go on a tirade about chick flicks…and not just any chick flicks, but my absolute favorite chick flicks by Jane Austen, such as “Pride and Prejudice,” “Sense and Sensibility” and “Emma.”
But what could I do but feel sorry for the poor sap who apparently has little understanding of the female psyche. Unfortunately many of his male species are in the same boat (though I’m doing what I can to remedy that!).
How could any man be expected to endure a “bonnet movie” on a date night with his wife? Oh the pain and torture of it all that he must endure if he hopes to get what he really wants…Sex! (which Glenn Beck proudly confessed–like we don’t already know that! Duh!)
He’s come up with a clever little scheme that involves selecting specially designed DVDs at your local Blockbuster store that surreptitiously begin playing some big action flick after your wife has been put to sleep by the first 20 minutes of her bonnet movie.
Just as his action movie ends, it magically switches back to the closing credits of Pride and Prejudice just as your wife begins to awaken from her peaceful slumber.
Oh brother! He’s really going out on a limb here, because I don’t know any women that are that clueless, or any that could possibly fall asleep during a Jane Austen movie. And women catch on pretty fast.
If only Glenn Beck and other poor guys better understood the connection between “chick flicks” and foreplay for women. I could see that this guy definitely needed my chick flick lecture.
I’m convinced that if more men understood the emotional nature of a woman’s sexuality they would shape up their attitudes about chick flicks, and maybe even learn to enjoy them just as they are all longing for their wives to enjoy sex more!
In my book “And They Were Not Ashamed–Strengthening Marriage through Sexual Fulfillment” I take two full chapters to go through the intricacies of the female sexual response. One of the key points is that most women need to be warmed up emotionally and feel connected and romantic towards their spouse before their mind clicks in and agrees to let their bodies engage sexually.
For women sex begins in their heart and mind. Wise husbands learn to include this in their foreplay not just focus on the body. Chick flicks are just one of the many ways for women to stir up those romantic feelings that are necessary precursors to her desire to be intimate.
Unfortunately I wasn’t able to give Glenn Beck my chick flick lecture personally, but I did see that he got a copy of my book. We’ll see if we can help him out a bit! If he’ll read it and apply it…he might just get lucky!
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Laura M. Brotherson is the author of a groundbreaking book on sexual intimacy and marital oneness entitled, And They Were Not Ashamed—Strengthening Marriage through Sexual Fulfillment. Laura shares her passion for building strong marriages and families as an author, intimacy educator and relationship consultant. Visit her website www.StrengtheningMarriage.com to learn more. Sign up today for her FREE “Straight Talk about Strengthening Marriage” newsletter. StrengtheningMarriage.com is your trusted resource for education, products and services to strengthen marriages intimately!
This entry was posted on Wednesday, July 25th, 2007 at 6:13 pm and is filed under Intimacy, Sex, Marriage. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
For my husband’s birthday, I told him I would watch one of his favorite movies, “Duel” (Steven Speilburg’s first movie about a demonic truck driver who tries throughout the whole movie, to run Dennis Weaver off the road). I told my husband I would not complain and would stay awake for the whole movie. I kept my word. I was amazed to learn Steven used ground breaking technology in it and used the sound from the truck going over the cliff at the end of the movie…sorry to ruin it for those who have not seen it yet, was the noise he used for his huge shark in “Jaws”.
It meant a lot to my husband that I made the
SINCERE effort to really try and not just watch but appreciate his movie when he knew how much I could not stand it.
He has since watched,”Ever After” and “While You were Sleeping” with me even though he cannot stand to watch chick flicks.
I learned a valuable lesson from that initial effort; when I show him by my actions and not just words, that when something is important to him it is important to me, and not expect anything in return, he is more considerate of me.
The Golden Rule works in marriage!
It is amazing what can happen when we decide to make something that’s important to our spouse important to us as well. I recall two incidents that have helped me change my thinking and stretch to enjoy things that my husband enjoys.
I remember Kevin and I having a conversation one night when he said something to the effect that we always did what I want. I was taken aback. It really hit me that he might actually be right. I was sick with the realization. I didn’t want to be that way. I have since made a conscious effort to make sure we do things he wants instead of him always having to go along with what I want.
I also remember having a conversation with a man who said that he wished women understood how important adventure and excitement is to men. He said it’s a sacrifice for men to “settle down” when they get married. He wishes wives would help their husbands feel that married life can still have adventure and excitement. Whether the wife learns to enjoy his action flicks or seeks some adventure in the intimate relationship, these things are important to many men.
I have found that as I have learned to enjoy sex more thoroughly a side effect has been to have greater respect and appreciation for men, masculinity and even testosterone!
Many women have a thinly veiled negative attitude toward men and anything “manly,” as evidenced by the male-bashing that frequently occurs. In learning to enjoy action flicks with muscle men standing up to the bad guys, as well as big trucks, football players, cowboys in rodeos, and other things that our society derides about men, I’ve found that “real men” and “maleness” can add fuel to my fire. It’s not just my husband that gets into the action flicks any more…and it’s not just “chick flicks” that can be psychological foreplay for women.
Guys, there seems to be built into most men a gene that screams “pleasure will come by pleasing your woman”. If that takes enduring a ‘bonnet’ movie or even an extended visit from a mother-in-law — then so be it. As we men learn this great truth, and learn its secrets through practice, we not only achieve great satisfaction in pleasing others, we position ourselves to receive satisfaction in some of our most favorite ways.
If we are of the notion that adventure and excitement brings enjoyment and satisfaction, especially in matters intimate, then going the extra mile in the ‘pleasing your woman’ department (…along with verbalizing our own needs and desires in the excitement arena) can yield rich rewards. This is one area where patience and perseverance on the part of we men can pay big dividends.
hehe…I am not sure what to make of this one, but my wife is into the action movies, the martial art movies, comedies..and VERY occasionally..the “chick flicks”..and I like more of the romantic comedies..I think she is against those because they can be terribly cheesy..but there are some (shhh When Harry Met Sally) that are halfway decent and even rather clever..
I AM aware of how THAT level of the female response works…but..I didn’t expect that..now on the small screen, my wife likes HGtv and cooking, the home shows, and interior decorating….lucky for me the “bonnet movies” are not a challenge..the challenge is for when I like to see movies like “Stand and Deliver” or other movies that have an inspirational message behind. I LOVE sports movies like “Field of Dreams” and “hoosiers” and sometimes she will go along with it..but if there was ever a “tone” or a desire..it didn’t come from film…in fact we both like film so we know better than to talk during movies….but there is a mood that is created..and we usually DO hold hands throughout the movie. If we went to the movie, we watch the whole movie and go out for pie…if we stayed indoors..then we may see the whole movie or it depends on how late it is and how the kids are..or how interesting the film is..but yes films can be great..or they can kill a mood quick hehe
Hmm, this is interesting. my whole life i grew up with my mom and sister raising me.my dad helped to but he was gone alot.i actually prefer my mom becasue when i was younger she was really really sick and so i wanted to make sure i got the most out of my time with her. any way i grew up on chick flicks. my sister made me watch all the Anne of green gables including the new one that came out a few years ago. she is my only sibling so i am really close to her. She has made me watch so many chick flicks that even now on my own time i catch my self watching one and thinking to my self. Man i feel so weird right now. i am a 23 year old guy watching a chick flick by myself. To me chick flicks have a deeper meaning than what meats the eye. Most of your life experiences can relate to a chick flick. For example, the movie One fine day. what guy in there right mind wants to be alone for the rest of his life. NOT ME. it kinda motivates me to get going. Ever after is about the importance of being honest and earnest in your life, even though you go through hell to get to were you are, and that some people will get in your way to try and pull you down. Return to me is agood one about sacrifice and love. his wife died and his new girlfriend ends up with his wifes heart. he sacrificed his wife sorta speak but saved a life and fell in love with her. I totally agree with happy LDS wife. when something is important to him that it is important to you. i feel the same way toward my future wife. If scrape booking is important to her than i will make sure that it is important to me and that i support her to my fullest with her talents and abilities, even if i do not enjoy scrape booking my self. but hey you never know tell ya try, i might find myself enjoying scrape booking more often with my wife when we do it together. any way good story and great comments from happy lds wife mom person.
If “chick flicks” are foreplay for women, isn’t that similar to pornography being used as foreplay for men?