I have no doubt your reasons for writing that column in Meridian Magazine was because of your line of work and the problems you see with society saying it is no big deal for a teen to get pregnant and to have a baby out of wedlock.

I agree that we as parents need to TEACH our children and quit worrying about making them feel bad or hurting their feelings.

The Lord set the perfect pattern in the scriptures for parenting…we need to get back to that way of parenting and quit letting the media dictate what and how to teach our children. We are losing our youth in the church in record numbers to the evils of our day. We need to be more bold and direct in teaching them about morality and dress standards and have the courage to tell them what they need to hear…even if they don’t like it. They will thank you for it some day…trust me. My kids are all raised. When they were young and I would see behavior that caused their dad and I concern, we sat them down and had serious talks with them. We did not force them but we taught them the Lord’s standards and the consequences of not following or living them and the blessings of making righteous choices. They all served missions and married in the temple and are raising their families in the Gospel. The tough love paid off.

They have thanked us for it. I thank the Lord for giving us the courage and insight into what adn when to teach them correct principles so they could govern themselves.

Hi UnderTheSun,

You bring up a couple of points. My concern is not over the private discussion the Palin’s had with their daughter. I agree with you that they likely handled the whole thing very well with their daughter. My concern is for the continuing fuel that their situation and their (pre-speech) statement gave to the “popularity” of premarital pregnancy. Maybe people are just not familiar with the realities of the “Juno” effect. (I’d recommend people do a Google search and read some of the many articles to see just how serious unwed motherhood is.)

My second point is that my desire for Sarah Palin to express some regret about her unwed pregnant daughter had nothing to do with her big national speech. My concern was over the comments that were made prior to the speech in response to the news about her daughter. This is where some word of remorse was needed when she initially addressed the reports about her daughter’s unwed pregnancy.

You are right on the money that her hugely anticipated acceptance speech was not the forum for that. I agree that unwed pregnancy did not need to be given more airtime. I’m glad she didn’t really bring it up at all in the speech. It would have just brought more “positive” attention to it especially if she again did not express it in the context of it not being a good thing.

This is not about judging the Palins, and this has nothing to do with politics. (The only reason it has anything to do with politics is because Sarah Palin happens to be a political figure.) This has everything to so with a concern for young people who are being influenced about choices that lead to premarital sex and unwed parenthood. This has everything to do with trying to change or counteract the prominent societal message that implies that premarital sex and pregnancy are no big deal and can be easily resolved with no negative consequences. This is the lie that I’d like to counteract.

Below are the comments I have moved from the Comments page on our StrengtheningMarriage.com site.

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Subject: Reply to Comments about Palin & Premarital Sex article

I appreciate everyone’s comments. I am sorry to see that some of you have misunderstood my purpose in writing the article about the Palin’s situation and it’s impact on the young people of the world. This is not about politics, nor do I have any political motive. In fact I was very complimentary of Sarah Palin and her candidacy. My sole intention is to offer a reminder that premarital sex and pregnancy are not a good idea. There is so much of glamorizing premarital sex and pregnancy in our media that I don’t think it out of line to attempt to counteract that. I believe the “non-glamorous” points of premarital sex and pregnancy are not heard enough, and while some parents do a good job of providing this teaching, there is still a huge influence of the media messages that they hear even more often. I am not lecturing or condemning Bristol (what’s done is done) anymore than I would condemn a son or a daughter. Of course you love and support your children regardless of their choices, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t publicly express some regret for the situation, so that others will not get the mistaken message that it’s not a big deal. As a marriage and family educator, the article was merely a means of encouraging another approach and sharing some insights into how to help our children avoid such a situation. Again, I appreciate all your heart-felt comments. I ask that we move this discussion to the Blog

where the full article “Palin, Politics & Premarital Sex — Counteracting the ‘Juno’ Effect” can be read and where a discussion can be had more easily.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/25272678/

http://www.time.com/time/world/article/0,8599,1815845,00.html

From what I can see from the many newsstories about the 17 high school girls who got pregnant it was very much a consciously planned thing. They made a “pregnancy pact” with each other, were disappointed when their pregnancy tests came back negative, and even sought out a “24 year-old homeless guy” to be one of the sperm donors.

I’m just trying to add some reality of the negative consequences of premarital sex and pregnancy to the discussion, so that the “Juno” effect doesn’t continue uncontested. It’s time to “un-glamorize” premarital sex and unwed teen pregnancy.

I full heartily agree that our children need to feel our love before they can listen to our words.