Comments on: The Twilight Obsession and Its Effect on Marriages http://strengtheningmarriage.com/blog/marriage/the-twilight-obsession-and-marriage?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=the-twilight-obsession-and-marriage Official Blog of Author and Intimacy Expert Laura M. Brotherson Mon, 21 May 2012 17:54:41 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.2 By: melody http://strengtheningmarriage.com/blog/marriage/the-twilight-obsession-and-marriage#comment-2167 melody Thu, 20 Jan 2011 00:21:52 +0000 http://strengtheningmarriage.com/blog/?p=771#comment-2167 I agree with you Laura! I have read the Twilight books and they were entertaining, but as I read them I was asking myself if the relationships would work in the real world. Looking from a healthy relationship point of view, based on trust and respect, the story is wanting. Edward, the stalker and overbearing control freak, would become overwhelming to a healthy woman. She would not be attracted to this kind of behavior and treatment, no matter how much money and power he has. I have seen insecure women in these situations and they feel stuck and cycle through bouts of abuse. They get showered with "I'm sorry's" and flowers when the man 'cross the line'. It all seems and feels romantic, until the next time that line is crossed. Over time, the abuse escalates. The way the two boys fought over the insecure girl would not have played out that way too. One would have beat the other up and ran off with the girl and left town. Women want to feel loved and cherished. They want to be cared for and looked after. They want exciting things to happen to them. It is interesting that the way Edward and Jake responded to Bella LOOKED romantic, but those feelings she felt in the book that are depicted would not have really been there. She would have felt hollow, confused, and disoriented. If women had circumstances happen to them, like in the book, after a period of time, they would feel smothered and yearn for a deeper, more intimate connection with their spouse. They would find that the fantasy holds no substance and doesn't bond them together in the ways that reality does. The most bonding moments are in the simple and even humdrum moments. It is in the everyday, "How was your day?" situations. Not, "I need to be saved and everyone I love, because some crazed vampire is going to get us." Drama doesn't bond people the same way as a healthy relationship does. Many men want their wives to be head over heels over them, and vis versa, but the intimacy comes from sacrifice, patience, communication, time, ect. These things don't come quickly or easily, but well worth it. The Twilight books let people know that the spark or fire can and needs to be there in our marriages. What does need to be known is the means of getting that spark is not the way it is depicted in the books. Let's be more honest with one another and learn how to cultivate an uplifting, passionate, true relationships based on reality. I agree with you Laura! I have read the Twilight books and they were entertaining, but as I read them I was asking myself if the relationships would work in the real world. Looking from a healthy relationship point of view, based on trust and respect, the story is wanting.

Edward, the stalker and overbearing control freak, would become overwhelming to a healthy woman. She would not be attracted to this kind of behavior and treatment, no matter how much money and power he has.

I have seen insecure women in these situations and they feel stuck and cycle through bouts of abuse. They get showered with “I’m sorry’s” and flowers when the man ‘cross the line’. It all seems and feels romantic, until the next time that line is crossed. Over time, the abuse escalates.

The way the two boys fought over the insecure girl would not have played out that way too. One would have beat the other up and ran off with the girl and left town.

Women want to feel loved and cherished. They want to be cared for and looked after. They want exciting things to happen to them. It is interesting that the way Edward and Jake responded to Bella LOOKED romantic, but those feelings she felt in the book that are depicted would not have really been there. She would have felt hollow, confused, and disoriented.

If women had circumstances happen to them, like in the book, after a period of time, they would feel smothered and yearn for a deeper, more intimate connection with their spouse. They would find that the fantasy holds no substance and doesn’t bond them together in the ways that reality does.

The most bonding moments are in the simple and even humdrum moments. It is in the everyday, “How was your day?” situations. Not, “I need to be saved and everyone I love, because some crazed vampire is going to get us.” Drama doesn’t bond people the same way as a healthy relationship does.

Many men want their wives to be head over heels over them, and vis versa, but the intimacy comes from sacrifice, patience, communication, time, ect. These things don’t come quickly or easily, but well worth it.

The Twilight books let people know that the spark or fire can and needs to be there in our marriages. What does need to be known is the means of getting that spark is not the way it is depicted in the books. Let’s be more honest with one another and learn how to cultivate an uplifting, passionate, true relationships based on reality.

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