I didn’t tell her that I was doing this. I just did it. They were simple things, such as rubbing her feet, a scalp massage, a long walk holding hands, lots of additional non-sexual touch including longer, lingering kisses. I would say there was from time to time during the week some sexual touch as well, but always with the clear expression that I expected nothing in return.

We made love twice during the week. I let her express in her own subtle way that she wanted to give me attention or was interested herself.

She has been very pleased this week commetning several times that she’s lucky to have me, (aahhhhh. Yeah I know :0) But the point is that Laura is correct when she urges husbands to go out of their way to give their wives this type of attention. Frankly it pays off in every part of your relationship, the bedroom included.

Anybody else tried this? If so, I’d love to hear about it.

While I would **LOVE** this as a gift, and it would make for a very memorable week …

I just don’t see it happening. My dear wife says that she is often sore after we make love, and would like several days to “heal” between sessions. Are we doing something drastically wrong that she is sore?

If only Laura’s book were written 50 years ago maybe the moires concerning intimacy within a God-fearing culture would be different. I’ve begun to look at it like the microwave. Can you imagine how our grandparents would have loved a microwave? And can you imagine how far ahead we’d be today if microwave cooking had been as accessible then as it is now? Maybe marital intimacy can make a similar leap. Laura’s book is being read — the fact that it’s published in soft-cover (can I have a wink and a nudge here? Okay, sorry) tells us that it’s selling well. Maybe this broader discussion of marital intimacy will have a positive affect on our children’s lives. I can only hope and pray that will be the case.

Myself, I’ve given up on improving the intimacy within my marriage. I will continue to do the things which SHOULD bring about some semblance of sexual activity, but I’ve given up on the notion that it will actually lead down that road. It’s not a sad thing, in fact it’s happier than I could have imagined. The anger and frustration with the situation is diminishing. And while my wife is truly one of the best people I know and a kick and a half to be around, this experience has taught me to “turn the other cheek” (ahem) in a way I would never have imagined. There is no deeper cut than being dejected sexually. Being able to forgive and take the Savior’s words to heart has been as much a struggle as it is a blessing.

It would be better if instead of giving up, I were giving in to a constant supply of sexual advances from my wife. But that is not to be the case. It’s simply not going to happen in this life. The Lord has promised that if we are faithful all things will be restored to us. If single people can find a mate and raise children in the next life, why can’t those of us suffering in this way realize the blessing of intimacy afforded others (though I am beginning to wonder whom?) in this life? The thought may be misguided, but it’s the one that keeps me from eating glass or breaking concrete with my bare hands.

I pray winterman93 will be able to find a solution. I hope it won’t be the same jesuit priest-like road I’ve taken (the sandals and robe are really quite fetching though). Hopefully, unlike my wife, yours will read Laura’s book and take some steps to address her lack of intimacy.

God be with you.