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We welcome your comments about our books and CDs, this website, our newsletters, and author events, etc. If you would like to post a question for feedback or discussion, please post it on our "Open Forum Discussions" page at "Laura's Strengthening Marriage Blog."
The key to success and happiness is being able to establish and maintain relationships. Dating and marriage are skills involved in establishing a relationship, but divorce suggests the lack the ability to maintain a relationship. Certainly most successful businesses have lots of repeat customers. Failing businesses struggle because they don't keep their customers. That is, they know how to get customers, but don't know how to keep them. (If they do, they don't do it.)
Most marriages in America struggle with the art/skill of maintaining a relationship. Seldom, if ever, do we hear discussions and suggestions on how to maintain a relationship. Jesus said, "Agree with thy adversary quickly while you are in the way with him." He knew without quick and prompt maintenance a stressed relationship could deteriorate into an adversarial relationship.
Subject:
REMINDER -- Post Questions for Discussion on Blog
Date:
September 26 2007
Name:
Laura M. Brotherson
Comments:
Just a reminder to post on the Blog (see link in the top banner or on the left menu under "Get Educated")any questions that you would like some feedback or discussion about. I will generally move any such questions posted here to the "Open Forum Discussions" post on our blog. This "Comments" page is primarily for comments about our book and CDs, the website, our newsletter, and author events, etc.
Date:
September 24 2007
Comments:
I am the one who posted on 3rd Sept 2007 about not leading out ahead of the Brethren. I just read the post on 4th Sept 2007 by a Priesthood Leader who misunderstood what I wrote about not leading out ahead of the Brethren. I totally agree that what Laura Brotherson has written about sex is inspired. I give her book as a wedding gift and quote from her book often. I am one of her biggest cheerleaders. What I was saying had to do with previous posts from people who act like the Brethren are behind the times or should give more information about what is right and wrong in sexual intimacy for married people.
I have come to understand the Lord's reasons for this are very similar to his reasons why we are not taught more about the endowment and other ordinances in the temple. It is for the individual to study and pray and get their answers and insights from the Lord. Sexual intimacy between a husband and a wife is no different. It is something they should work at together through prayer and study and application. In a Covenant marriage, they will come to realize that sexual intimacy is a very important in helping them build a Celestial marriage. I stress to those in my area of influence that they should study these things like they do their scriptures so they do not allow themselves to become lax in these areas in their marriage. When we slack off from our scripture study we start suffering spiritually. When we slack off in the sexual and emotional intimacies with our spouses our marriages can become flat and be too susceptible to failure.
Subject:
Light
Date:
September 4 2007
Comments:
I personally agree, "Hold on, the Light will come" as you stated. I also believe in the light that has come from talks that I have read and heard by General Authorities on marriage and the importance of intimacy in all its forms. From what I have heard, and read, the information here is not leading out ahead of the brethren but supports them. Refer to the article in the September Ensign of 1986; I believe that is the date off the top of my head. The support and light could not be stated any better than that was in support of the brethren. As a priesthood leader I have been trained that you cannot personally solve everyone’s problems yourself, but you can get them to people who can help. Councilors, financial advisors, and others that have skills and knowledge to bless lives and to enhance growth personally, as couples, and families. That principle applies here. The Lord gave talents to people to help people in the proper way and if you don’t use them you cannot help. The Lord doesn’t have to command in all things. The brethren are not going to tell you every little thing to do in the bedroom, but rather expect you to obtain the needed and “proper” education as a couple, and do it in the proper forum to enhance your marriage. They have encouraged this and have expressed the sacred nature of intimacy. There is a lot of “junk” out there that should not be sot after and should not be trifled with. The world has a way of degrading something that is beautiful. What I have read here does not do that and is really what every parent should teach their children, but are too scared to, don’t know how to, don’t know themselves what to do, so they cannot teach it with knowledge. All aspects of spiritual and physical intimacy should be taught in the home. Recourse information can be used to teach and we have been counseled to teach our children the “proper” use of this sacred and divine gift. I just wish a site like this was around when I got married and when I talked to my children. Everyone has to use there own judgment, but information from this site, as I see it, is to help marriages, and we have to be perfectly honest to make money for the author, but I feel it adds light to where light is needed, not darkness.
Subject:
Do not lead out ahead of the Brethren
Date:
September 3 2007
Name:
Fellow member of the church
Comments:
Years ago I was called to be our Stake Seminary Supervisor. I was priveledged to have a one on one with Stanley Peterson who is over Church Education. He is the one who answers to the First Presidency. He came to our Stake to speak at a Know Your Religion and our Institute Director set up the meeting for me and Stanley. Brother Peterson asked if there were any questions I had for him. I asked if he had any advice for me. Then he told me, "Do not lead out ahead of the Brethren (meaning the Church Leaders)". He went on to say that we may feel we know better and that they are taking too long to come around or to deal with something you feel strongly about. He said to pray for them and to give it to the Lord and let it be in His time.
It has not been easy with me to do that in regards to the lack of teaching what is right about sexuality in marriage in the church or even giving ideas and places we can go to learn about sexual intimacy that is in harmony with the Gospel.
Over the last few weeks I have been involved with a lot of promoting of Laura's book ATWNA, and Dr Douglas Brinley's, "Marital Relationship Seminar' cds. I have been thrilled by the positive response from those I have share them with. I am passionate about educating others and helping them find the tools that can help them have healthy marriages and avoid divorce as I have seen too many in the church who are active and married in the temple who choose to end their marriages rather than find ways to work out their problems and build strong marriages. It is tragic to me.
As I was praying for help to know what more I could do, I had the thought come to me about not leading out ahead of the Brethren. I know most of us who come to this site are frustrated or we would not seek out books like Laura's and other sources to look for answers on sexual issues and in strengthening our marriages. We need to make sure all these things are done in the Lord's way and not allow our desperation or anxiousness to cause us to criticize or complain about our church leaders, who are the mouth pieces for the Lord.
One of my favorite lines is, "Hold on, the Light will come" borrowed from Michael McLean
Subject:
Keep up the good work
Date:
August 30 2007
Name:
Dave
Comments:
Thank you for your work. It just kills me that sex has become Satan's domain. All the fun, exciting sex is happening in the porn world, and at home our sex is dull (or non-existent), and church leaders are too shy or embarrassed to bring up the topic, much less address the saints and keep them accountable to make sure that part of their lives is healthy and vibrant. Please keep up the good work.
Subject:
Love the newsletters
Date:
August 27 2007
Comments:
I appreciate the newsletters and look forward to reading them each time; your work is inspirational and such a blessing. You are wonderful!
Subject:
Allow Yourself to be taught, you will be pleasantly impressed!
Date:
August 23 2007
Name:
James W.
Comments:
I would like to say something to those married couples who get all riled up and offended that they are TOO good to be taught marriage and sex advice...and maybes specifically to those who have been married over 15 years and have over 3 kids and figure they really DO know it all...
look this website has been created BECAUSE while you may know what YOU need to know...it didn't get passed down correctly or with the frequency that it deserved. Those of us who are now married and DID NOT receive the proper education at the proper time, are not mad at you or the fact that you decided what was best for us. To be quite fair, if anything, I have empathy for you. Your parents were probably not anything different and much of what you learned was passed on to us. I think that if you were to allow yourselves to read through this book and allow yourselves to be re-taught OR better said...bring what you have to the table and let this book further provide insight...then you really WOULD be pleasantly impressed with what is being taught and might be grateful that this IS available for people like my wife and I who were extremely close to divorce. We are on the far opposite end of that now, and all of that has to do with a paradigm shift in how I see my wife and how I see our challenges as a whole. That didn't come because of my parents great ability to teach their kids about this subject. I don't blame them for that. they didn't have those resources available at the time. Now that I DO..I will make sure that my kids do not end up as introverted, shy and uncomfortable as I was.
Subject:
Now Live -- "Laura's Strengthening Marriage Blog"
Date:
July 26 2007
Name:
Laura M. Brotherson
Comments:
By popular request, we've finally created a blog called, "Laura's Strengthening Marriage Blog." We invite you to check it out and visit often to share your experiences and insights. We hope it will be a great resource for strengthening marriages intimately!
Subject:
ACME Conf presentation
Date:
July 25 2007
Name:
Don
Comments:
Laura, I wanted to let you know how much we enjoyed your presentation at the ACME conference. I knew that you would be a great presenter, but I was really surprised at how good your presentation really was. Your style and energy remind me a lot of Mark Gungor who does the "Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage" seminars at the Smart Marriages conference. I feel that the standing ovation that the crowd gave you and your husband was very much deserved.
Subject:
What MATTERS THE MOST finally gets its due credit!!
Date:
July 23 2007
Name:
J. Winter
Comments:
Marriages WILL be saved by way of this book, if both spouses are humble and honest with themselves to accept the need to improve. I can say that because it has positively and eternally changed the dynamics and effect of my marriage. My wife and I have grown in leaps and bounds due to the ONEness that we now feel and continually work on and our communications in ALL respects could not be better...If Sister Brotherson needs...I am willing to translate this book into Spanish and Portuguese...I feel that AS MANY PEOPLE THAT CAN GET THIS BOOK...OUGHT TO!!!
Subject:
So many good comments
Date:
July 18 2007
Name:
B
Comments:
Wow! This is a great place to get advice and ask questions. On the issue of oral sex, the Bible doesn't say a single thing about any one thing (except for the obvious: adultry)being against the rules between a man and his wife. My husband and I love pleasing each other in this manner and it's never been an issue between us.
On pornography, I have a similar but different situation. My husband wants to see me with other men and wants to hear fantasies from me about other men. However, I have no desire what so ever to be with or fantasize about other men. He is the only one I want and think about. This is a point of stress between us. He says that is the only way I can truely please him and that hurts so very badly. We've been married 12 years and up until the last 2 years things were great. I really don't know what to do. I want him to be happy, but I also don't want to lie to him by telling him what he wants to hear. I do pray about this but he is persistant and it's wearing me down to the point that I almost don't want sex anymore. Am I wrong?
Subject:
Ed and Gaye Wheat book
Date:
July 6 2007
Name:
Terry in AZ
Comments:
I have been reading "Intended for Pleasure" by Ed Wheat MD and his wife Gaye. It is fabulous and very much in harmony with LDS teachings and beliefs. It is a great book for engaged couples for helping them to prepare for sexual intimacy in marriage. I wish I had had a book like that before I got married...don't we all?
Subject:
Oral Sex
Date:
June 27 2007
Name:
Marty
Comments:
There was, indeed, a First Presidency letter that addressed oral sex. From what others said in these posts, it was never sent out. However, for several years prior to the letter being drafted a question asking whether a couple engaged in "unatural, impure, or unholy" practices was part of the temple recommend interview under Pres. Kimball who had--with all due respect to him--a hang up about it. The question caused married couple a lot of stress. Many clueless individuals asked for clarification regarding what was "unatural,... etc" and there ensued an explanation by the not-so-well-informed bishops that caused them to delve into a couple's intimate life. Complaints from many married members caused the Church to remove the question from the interivew.
I discovered Laura's book more than two years ago and have given it to every engaged couple where I've known at least one of the parties, beginning with my own 30 year old son and my daughter-in-law. She still thanks me to this day. I've also received many thank you notes, including several from the grooms!!!
In his first post, Matt quotes another book which said, "men you know what is wrong." That was very helpful! Unfortunately, for too long that was the kind of education married couples received in the Church about sex. Also, the admonition not to talk to anyone about our intimate life was, in my opinion, negative and distructive. While we should not treat that relationship in a casual manner, we should be able to talk to someone we trust about difficuties.
The fact is, in the Church, marrieds, singles, and our youth, still get mixed messages about sex.
Subject:
50 minutes to a significantly better marriage!
Date:
June 21 2007
Name:
Kara
Comments:
The Love 101 talk on CD is fantastic! Every married person, and those planning to be, MUST listen to this. Simple, yet vitally important keys to help understand how love works and what your 'language' is. It's the best tool we've received that strengthened our marriage and it only took 50 minutes! It's exactly what my husband needed to hear and in a way that 'clicked' with him. Thank you Laura!
