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"Straight Talk about Strengthening Marriage!"
e-Newsletter #12--August 10, 2005 (#05-7) www.StrengtheningMarriage.com CONTENTS
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1~ MARRIAGE TIP--"How to Feel More Amorous" 2~ ARTICLE--"God's Wedding Gift--Why Save Sex for Marriage" 3~ EVENTS--BYU Education Week Booksigning, Couples' Cruise 4~ NEWS--Weekly Radio Show; DeseretBook.com Article; 3rd Printing 5~ READERS' COMMENTS --"I have learned what married sex could and should be like." 6~ STRAIGHT TALK Q&A--"Safe place to find lingerie...?" 7~ WORDS TO PONDER--lifetime contract; marriage achievement -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1~
MARRIAGE TIP--"How to Feel More Amorous"
"I was never in the mood, and I didn't know how to get there. I wantedThese are some of the common complaints I hear from women who would like to be more "into" intimacy with their husbands, but just don't feel like they are ever in the mood or that they even have the capacity to be in the mood. Feeling amorous and sexy is a state of mind that must be nurtured. For women sex begins in the mind. Women often need to be proactive in generating sexual thoughts and feelings, and developing their sexuality. Feeding her mind with intimate, romantic thoughts about her husband, and letting those emotions begin to stir her heart can help a woman feel more sexy and amorous as a person. The counsel so often given to control or inhibit sexual thoughts and feelings may be helpful for men, whose primary challenge is often to control their sexuality, but is often counterproductive for many women, whose primary challenge is to awaken and free their sexuality. Women need to know that sexuality is good and of God. They then need to welcome sexual thoughts and feelings toward their spouse, as they seek to cultivate a state of mental preparation for sexual expression. A universal change in focus from wanting to want "sex" to wanting to want "your husband" is needed to personalize sexual desire, and give it a richer intent. This mental switch can help encourage sexual feelings and allow amorous desire for your spouse to be a more constant companion. 2~ ARTICLE--"God's Wedding Gift--Why Save Sex for Marriage" Don't miss our recent Meridian Magazine article "God's Wedding Gift--Why Save Sex for Marriage." You can find it here: http://www.ldsmag.com/familyconnections/050802gift.html. Here are some highlights from the article: “Sex is worth waiting for, worth learning about, and worth developing 3~
AUTHOR EVENTS--
BYU Education Week Booksigning;
Couples' Caribbean Cruise "Meet the Author"/Booksigning — Thursday, Aug 18, 5 - 7 p.m.For information about additional author events visit our "Events" page: http://www.strengtheningmarriage.com/events.php 4~ NEWS--Weekly Radio Show; DeseretBook.com Article; 3rd Printing (1) Weekly Radio Show about Intimacy. Dr. Liz Hale and author, Laura5~ READERS' COMMENTS --"I have learned what married sex could and should be like." "I used to be so full of anger and resentment every time my husband We welcome you to share your comments at: www.strengtheningmarriage.com/comments.php. 6~ STRAIGHT TALK Q&A--"Is there a safe place to buy lingerie on the internet?" Question: Is there a safe place to go to buy lingerie on the internet? I'm afraid of running into people I know in stores who may not understand, and online I feel like I am viewing pornography when looking for lingerie. Answer: This is a tricky question. Most every sexual question that could be asked requires some careful personal consideration of yourself, your spouse, your relationship and your vulnerabilities. I definitely recommend seeking divine guidance on this or any sensitive and delicate question. Even the question of using lingerie itself within the intimate relationship is very personal and up to the individual and couple. Lingerie can be useful for women in helping them feel more amorous and sexy. Men tend to be stimulated visually, so lingerie is often a welcome addition to lovemaking. But every couple must determine what they are comfortable with, and what they feel is acceptable within the intimate relationship of marriage. The only truly "safe" place to shop for lingerie is in a regular department store. Thankfully most department stores from Dillards to Wal-mart carry nice lingerie, so you don't have to shop in questionable outlets. The benefit of shopping in actual stores is not having to see real people dressed in the outfits, but there is that chance of running into someone you know. If a couple has determined that lingerie is an acceptable part of intimacy, and has a conviction of the goodness of sexual intimacy in marriage then they need not be ashamed if they do happen to run into someone they know! It might even be beneficial in helping to overcome unnecessary inhibitions about sex. Finding lingerie online can be quite tricky. I am not familiar with everything that might be available online, but I believe there are a few Christian sites that use only mannequins to model their lingerie. While I have not reviewed this entire site and every product, this is one site that seems to be the safest so far for lingerie: www.theactofmarriage.com (click on "Lingerie"). Other sites blur their photos to make them as appropriate as possible, but still may be too risky. While women can be at risk with regard to visual sexual material, they tend to be less susceptible, and may find it safer to shop online than their husbands. Again, every couple needs to be aware of their individual weaknesses and susceptibility to sexual information of any kind, to be sure that it does not detract from or weaken the sexual relationship of husband and wife. The intent of any sexual "addition" to lovemaking should be to strengthen the relationship and allow greater intimate enjoyment of each other. 7~
WORDS TO PONDER--lifetime contract; marriage achievement
"Motto for the bride and groom: We are a work in progress with a *****************************************************************************************
Stay tuned for more exciting information in upcoming Strengthening Marriage Newsletters...! Visit the e-Newsletter archive at: http://www.strengtheningmarriage.com/signup.php If you missed the last few newsletters you can catch up here: "God's Wedding Gift" -- Newsletter #11 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Straight Talk about Strengthening Marriage" is an electronic newsletter designed to strengthen your marriage and family—written by the author of the book "And They Were Not Ashamed—Strengthening Marriage through Sexual Fulfillment." Visit www.StrengtheningMarriage.com for excerpts and reviews, or to place an order or post a comment. The author welcomes your feedback at Laura@StrengtheningMarriage.com --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- SUBSCRIBE — If this email was forwarded to you and you would like to subscribe, send an email to Lists@StrengtheningMarriage.com with "Subscribe" on the subject line. Please help us spread the good news about this valuable new resource. UNSUBSCRIBE — To unsubscribe from receiving future information and updates send an email to Lists@StrengtheningMarriage.com with "Unsubscribe" on the subject line. If you receive a duplicate of this email, please let us know. All outgoing messages scanned by Norton AntiVirus. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |