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"Straight Talk about Strengthening Marriage!" "Emotional Foreplay -- Mood Music and Movies" e-Newsletter #18 -- April 25, 2006 (#06-3) www.StrengtheningMarriage.com ** CONTENTS **
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1~ MARRIAGE TIP -- "Emotional Foreplay--Mood Movies and Music" 2~ ARTICLES -- "The Spirituality of Sex" 3~ EVENTS -- Radio Interview (Apr 28); BYU Women's Conf. Booksigning (May 5); LDS Marriage Network -- Smart Marriages Pre-Conference (Jun 22); BYU-Idaho Ed Week (Jun 30); BYU Campus Ed Week (Aug 21) 4~ NEWS -- (1) NEW Talk on CD "Love 101"; (2) Couples' Cruise--Mother's Day Special; (3) Printable Book Brochure 5~ READER'S REVIEWS -- "Thanks for your terrific book" 6~ STRAIGHT TALK Q&A -- "I have a hard time verbalizing sexual things" 7~ WORDS TO PONDER -- Marriage is last chance to grow up 8~ MARRIAGE NEWS -- Post-traumatic growth -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1~ MARRIAGE TIP --
"Emotional Foreplay--Mood Movies and Music"
Couples are becoming more cognizant of the fact that husbands and wives have different mental wiring sexually. Men are often in need of bridling their passions, whereas women often need to awaken and cultivate their passion. Where men are usually ready to go in a moment's notice--almost as an automatic reaction--women generally require mental preparation and emotional connection (or "emotional foreplay") for their bodies to fully respond sexually. Emotional foreplay refers to the sexually conducive thoughts and emotional connection needed to "get in the mood." Women are wired in a way that requires emotional foreplay for them to get to where most men begin! Music and movies are excellent sources for cultivating sexual readiness by stirring romantic thoughts and emotions. Sometimes a song on the radio or seeing a romantic movie can cause a flicker of arousing thoughts that if welcomed, encouraged, and directed at our spouse can provide fuel for intimate desire. Romantic movies, commonly referred to as "chick flicks" often get a bad rap. When I hear men mocking or complaining about a Jane Austen movie, for instance, I either give them my "chick flick lecture" or shake my head at the poor unsuspecting husband that is apparently unaware of the mental and emotional foreplay such movies provide their wives. The trick for husbands is to allow their wives to enjoy "mood movies" and "mood music" without any psychological pressure of strings attached. Some of the best mood movies are: ~ "Sleepless in Seattle" (1993) with Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan To find out more about these movies you
can search for information about them
on The Internet Movie Database at: http://www.imdb.com If you're a country music lover, you'll especially love these songs that can fuel a romantic mood:
To hear a clip of these songs, search
for them here:
http://www.walmart.com/music Send us your mood movies and music suggestions! We'd love to hear from you (especially women) on what movies and music work best to get you in the mood! Maybe we'll even create a resource page listing the "mood movies" and "mood music" recommendations. We look forward to hearing from you! 2~ ARTICLES -- "The Spirituality of Sex" Check out Laura's latest Meridian Magazine article on putting spirituality back into sex: "The Spirituality of Sex" by Laura M. Brotherson, CFLE, Meridian Magazine, March 27, 2006 http://www.ldsmag.com/familyconnections/060327spirituality.html Sexuality is a sacred and innate part of our being, designed by God not only for procreation, but also for expressions of love in marriage. There are few things that can bring greater joy and richness to a husband/wife relationship than spiritually connected sex. To read past articles, visit our "Articles" web page at: 3~ AUTHOR EVENTS --
Radio Interview (Apr 28); BYU Women's Conf.
Booksigning (May 5); LDS Marriage Network -- Smart Marriages Pre-Conference (Jun 22); BYU-Idaho Ed Week (Jun 30); BYU Campus Ed Week (Aug 21) Radio Interview on "Healthy, Wealthy, Wow" Grapevine Radio Friday, April 28 at 10 a.m., 6 p.m. and 10 p.m. (MST) National radio show broadcast with author, Laura M. Brotherson, on www.GrapevineRadio.com (Healthy Living Segment--toward the end of the show); Re-broadcast Thurs, May 57 a.m. and 11 a.m. (MST). Listen in at http://www.grapevineradio.com/grnlive/articles/1/1/Healthy-Wealthy-Wow
BYU Women's Conference "Meet the Author"/Booksigning Friday, May 5, 2006 -- 2:30 p.m. - 8 p.m. (BYU Bookstore, Provo, Utah) If you are in the area, be sure to stop by to say hello! We look forward to meeting many of you there. LDS Marriage Network -- Smart Marriages Pre-Conference Thursday, June 22, 2006, 9 a.m. - 5 p.m. (Marriott Marquis Hotel, Atlanta, GA) We encourage all those who are interested in strengthening LDS marriages to join us at the Smart Marriages conference for the 1st annual "LDS Marriage Network Smart Marriages Pre-conference." Visit the StrengtheningMarriage.com Events page (http://www.strengtheningmarriage.com/events.php) for the pre- conference agenda, and the organization's "Mission Statement and Guiding Principles." To receive additional information about this free conference, or the LDS Marriage Network, send an email to: LDSMarriageNet@StrengtheningMarriage.com. For additional Smart Marriages Conference info, visit: http://www.smartmarriages.com/conferencedetails.html BYU Idaho Education Week Thurs, June 29 - Sat, July 1, 2006 (Rexburg, Idaho) Presentation Series Title: "Straight Talk about Strengthening Marriage" Fri. Jun 30, 6:30 - 7:25 p.m. Lecture 1--"The Adventure of Marriage" Sat. Jul 1, 11 - 11:55 a.m. Lecture 2--"Understanding the Intricacies of ONEness in Marriage" Sat. Jul 1, 12:15 - 1:10 p.m. Lecture 3--"How Do I Get My Spouse to Change?!" These classes will be in the Spori Bldg, Room #035 BYU Campus Education Week August 21 - 25, 2006, BYU Campus (Provo, Utah) Presentation Series Title: "Understanding the Intricacies of ONEness in Marriage" For additional information on these events, visit our "Events" page: http://www.strengtheningmarriage.com/events.php. 4~ NEWS -- NEW Talk on CD "Love 101"; Couples' Cruise--Mother's Day Special; Printable Book Brochure (1) *NEW* Talk on CD "LOVE 101--Learning to Love More Meaningfully" We're thrilled to announce our first exciting Talk on CD entitled, "LOVE 101-- Learning to Love More Meaningfully" now available online (http://inspirebook.com/product_info.php?cPath=27&products_id=72) for just $10.95 now through May 15. Marriage is about learning to meet each other's needs for love. What are the specific keys to your spouse's heart? What are the keys to your heart? You can learn to love your spouse more meaningfully, and experience the rich rewards of a close and fulfilling intimately connected relationship. (2) Couples' Western Caribbean Cruise -- Mother's Day Special NOW is the time to book your "Couples' Valentine's Cruise" to the Western Caribbean (Marriage Education Week at Sea) Feb. 10-17, 2007. Cruise Planners and Princess Cruise Lines have a super Mother's Day special going on for this cruise from Mon. May 8 until Sat, May 13 at 5 p.m. During this time, take advantage of the significantly reduced deposit of only $200 per couple (instead of $500)! You'll also receive a Princess Cruise Coupon Book valued at $120 to use on the cruise. (Applies to new bookings only.) Cruise Planners will be giving a free copy of the book, "And They Were Not Ashamed-- Strengthening Marriage through Sexual Fulfillment," to all who make their deposit during this time. Contact Cruise Planners toll free at (866) 446-4218 to answer all your questions, and to book your cruise. For more information, and to see fun photos from this year's Feb '06 cruise, visit our "Couples Cruise" webpage at: http://www.strengtheningmarriage.com/cruise.php. (3) Printable Book Brochure The groundbreaking book, And They Were Not Ashamed, is changing marriages and blessing lives. You can easily share this book by going to the "Book Information Brochure" link on our Media Page, to print a copy and share with a friend (http://www.strengtheningmarriage.com/images/mediabrochure.jpg). To stay current on "What's New" on the StrengtheningMarriage.com website visit: http://www.strengtheningmarriage.com/new.php 5~ READER'S REVIEWS -- "Thanks for your terrific book" "Thanks for your terrific book. The great thing about it is its reverent We welcome you to read other reviews,
and share your thoughts about the
book, "And They Were Not Ashamed" at: www.strengtheningmarriage.com/comments.php. 6~ STRAIGHT TALK Q&A -- "I have a hard time verbalizing sexual things" Question: I have been reading your book, and it has really helped me understand what my problem has been in our intimate relationship. I'm having a really hard time with the "homework" you give in the book. I 'know' everything I am reading is true and good for me to understand, but I just can't get into the mode of "saying the words." My husband has been trying to get me to do many of the things you talk about in your book. How do I get myself over the hurdle? I go to say, "I like it when..." and that's where it stops. I can "do" things that I can't think about or verbalize. It causes things to hit a wall in our intimacy. Answer: It can be really hard to open up verbally about sexual things--whether it's in having a discussion about it with your spouse, or during lovemaking, or in teaching children about sex and intimacy. You can see in Chapter 6 of our book some of the reasons sex is such a taboo topic and so difficult to discuss. Many of us learn that sexual words are bad or dirty, and that we shouldn't say them. There are all kinds of negative conditioning and emotions associated with sex that we bring with us into adulthood. One suggestion would be to start with writing what you would say to finish the statement, "I like it when...." This can help you to at least process it mentally to get it on paper, and provides a step in the right direction toward being able to verbalize these things. Another suggestion would be to practice saying these things out loud when you're by yourself. This can help alleviate some of the embarrassment and discomfort you may be feeling. It may be particularly helpful if you place you hand on your heart while you practice expressing your thoughts and feelings on the subject. I also think the Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) that I mention in the appendix of our book could be very helpful. I know it was valuable to me in overcoming inhibitions and unproductive beliefs about sex that I really didn't even know that I had. The EFT works with the energy meridians of the body where many of our negative thoughts and feelings seem to be stored. Definitely look into that as well.... For the rest of the answer to this question, and to check out other questions and answers, visit our Q&A webpage at: http://www.strengtheningmarriage.com/qa.php 7~ WORDS TO PONDER --
Marriage is last chance to grow up
"Marriage is our last best chance to grow up." (Joseph Barth) 8~ MARRIAGE NEWS -- The hidden side of happiness...post-traumatic growth "Marriage News" is a new feature to share some of the latest news regarding marriage-related topics. ~~~~~~~~~~ The Hidden Side of Happiness By Kathleen McGowan, Psychology Today, February 16, 2006 There is a built-in human capacity to flourish under the most difficult circumstances. Positive reactions to profoundly disturbing experiences are not limited to the toughest or the bravest. In fact, roughly half the people who struggle with adversity say that their lives have in some ways improved. This and other promising findings about the life-changing effects of crises are the province of the new science of post-traumatic growth.... Those who weather adversity well are living proof of one of the paradoxes of happiness: We need more than pleasure to live the best possible life. Our contemporary quest for happiness has shriveled to a hunt for bliss—a life protected from bad feelings, free from pain and confusion.... To read the entire article (click here or copy and paste link, without any spaces/breaks, into web browser): http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/pto-20060216-000001.xml ***************************************************************************************** Stay tuned for more intimacy insights in upcoming Strengthening Marriage Newsletters...! Visit the e-Newsletter archive at: http://www.strengtheningmarriage.com/signup.php If you missed the last few newsletters, you can catch up here: "Putting Spirituality Back into Sex" -- Marriage Newsltr #17 "Straight Talk about Strengthening Marriage" is an electronic newsletter designed to bless lives, strengthen marriages, and build strong families— written by the author of the book "And They Were Not Ashamed — Strengthening Marriage through Sexual Fulfillment." Visit www.StrengtheningMarriage.com for information and articles, or to purchase the book. We welcome your feedback at Laura@StrengtheningMarriage.com --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- SUBSCRIBE — If this email was forwarded to you and you would like to subscribe, send an email to Lists@StrengtheningMarriage.com with "Subscribe" on the subject line. Help us spread the good news about this valuable new resource. UNSUBSCRIBE — To unsubscribe from receiving future information and updates send an email to Lists@StrengtheningMarriage.com with "Unsubscribe" on the subject line. If you receive a duplicate of this email, please let us know. All outgoing messages scanned by Norton AntiVirus. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
