What would your husband like for Father’s Day (or his birthday or for your anniversary)? How about seven nights of passion!
Inspiration for this Father’s Day gift idea came from an article about two different couples who had each determined to make love for either 101 consecutive days or for 365 days. Wow! (My 7-day challenge should be a piece of cake comparatively.) Both of these couples wrote books about their adventure. One is called “365 Nights” and the other is called “Just Do It!”
For some added fun in the bedroom you could play mood music, or tickle your senses by making love by the light of an aromatic candle. Silky sheets are sure to satisfy, or try some new position to pull you out of the routine. Seven nights in a row is sure to break the routine in and of itself, but it couldn’t hurt to add some sugar and spice as well.
If you’d like to share anything about your own 7-day adventure and how it’s affected your marriage, we’d love for you to post your thoughts. Maybe your willingness to take the challenge will inspire others to do so as well! Just remember it’s not about the frequency, but how much of your heart you can put into it.
Happy Father’s Day to all the great husbands and fathers out there! I hope there will be some extra-happy husbands this year!
About the Author: Laura M. Brotherson
Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, and Certified Sex Therapist, Laura M. Brotherson is the founder of "The Marital Intimacy Institute"" with a mission to help couples create "sextraordinary" marriages. She counsels with couples and individuals in private practice (and online) and is passionate about helping couples navigate the intricacies of intimacy--specializing in healthy sexuality, sex therapy, and sex addiction. She is the author of the best-selling book And They Were Not Ashamed — Strengthening Marriage through Sexual Fulfillment, Knowing HER Intimately: 12 Keys for Creating a Sextraordinary Marriage, and her latest book --From Honeymoon to Happily Ever After: 23 Keys to Prepare for a Sextraordinary Marriage, with nearly 100,000 copies sold. She also has a fabulous online course for women to help them develop their "Sexual Wholeness."
As a Certified Family Life Educator, Laura is also actively engaged in helping to build strong marriages and families by providing marriage education through Couples Cruises, articles, newsletters, radio and television broadcasts, "The Marital Intimacy Show" podcasts, and presenting at conferences and workshops. Laura is a regular contributor to the KSL Television "Studio 5" morning show.
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7 in a row? or 7 in 7 years? how about I am lucky to get 1 time in 7 days? let alone 7 straight days…Laura, since we tried to have kids at all…the frequency not only has dipped into dismal waters…but WHEN it happens..it is mechanical and cold at best…more often than not…it is like being with a cadaver…because she simply could be watching Seinfeld and would get a equal experience…needless to say, I barely ask anymore…
Winterman93 you are not alone. There, feel better? I doubt it — while it’s good to know others are going through the same experience it doesn’t do much to take away the hurt and pain and very, very, very (it could use a few more “very”s to correctly emphasize the point) real and physical issue of unfulfilled sexual need.
If only Laura’s book were written 50 years ago maybe the moires concerning intimacy within a God-fearing culture would be different. I’ve begun to look at it like the microwave. Can you imagine how our grandparents would have loved a microwave? And can you imagine how far ahead we’d be today if microwave cooking had been as accessible then as it is now? Maybe marital intimacy can make a similar leap. Laura’s book is being read — the fact that it’s published in soft-cover (can I have a wink and a nudge here? Okay, sorry) tells us that it’s selling well. Maybe this broader discussion of marital intimacy will have a positive affect on our children’s lives. I can only hope and pray that will be the case.
Myself, I’ve given up on improving the intimacy within my marriage. I will continue to do the things which SHOULD bring about some semblance of sexual activity, but I’ve given up on the notion that it will actually lead down that road. It’s not a sad thing, in fact it’s happier than I could have imagined. The anger and frustration with the situation is diminishing. And while my wife is truly one of the best people I know and a kick and a half to be around, this experience has taught me to “turn the other cheek” (ahem) in a way I would never have imagined. There is no deeper cut than being dejected sexually. Being able to forgive and take the Savior’s words to heart has been as much a struggle as it is a blessing.
It would be better if instead of giving up, I were giving in to a constant supply of sexual advances from my wife. But that is not to be the case. It’s simply not going to happen in this life. The Lord has promised that if we are faithful all things will be restored to us. If single people can find a mate and raise children in the next life, why can’t those of us suffering in this way realize the blessing of intimacy afforded others (though I am beginning to wonder whom?) in this life? The thought may be misguided, but it’s the one that keeps me from eating glass or breaking concrete with my bare hands.
I pray winterman93 will be able to find a solution. I hope it won’t be the same jesuit priest-like road I’ve taken (the sandals and robe are really quite fetching though). Hopefully, unlike my wife, yours will read Laura’s book and take some steps to address her lack of intimacy.
God be with you.
Maybe the problem is with you – not your wife. Take a GOOD look at your own attitude towards her. Do you resent the fact that she doesn’t fulfill your expectations sexually? Does this come across in the way that you treat her? A woman needs someone who will treat her with love and kindness. If you will do this SINCERELY, WITH NO EXPECTATIONS, in time you will have a much more fulfilling sex life than you ever imagined possible.
An honest question about this ….
While I would **LOVE** this as a gift, and it would make for a very memorable week …
I just don’t see it happening. My dear wife says that she is often sore after we make love, and would like several days to “heal” between sessions. Are we doing something drastically wrong that she is sore?
Try using a lubricant. It made all the difference for me.
I tried the opposite of this last week for my wife. Instead of sex for seven days in a row, I tried non-sexual things that I’m sure she doesn’t get enough of and gave her one or more of those each day.
I didn’t tell her that I was doing this. I just did it. They were simple things, such as rubbing her feet, a scalp massage, a long walk holding hands, lots of additional non-sexual touch including longer, lingering kisses. I would say there was from time to time during the week some sexual touch as well, but always with the clear expression that I expected nothing in return.
We made love twice during the week. I let her express in her own subtle way that she wanted to give me attention or was interested herself.
She has been very pleased this week commetning several times that she’s lucky to have me, (aahhhhh. Yeah I know :0) But the point is that Laura is correct when she urges husbands to go out of their way to give their wives this type of attention. Frankly it pays off in every part of your relationship, the bedroom included.
Anybody else tried this? If so, I’d love to hear about it.